Assalam aleykum! Recently, I met online a Muslim guy that is convert. We are both serious about our relationship and we fears Allah. The thing is that we lived in 2 different countries. So to get to know more each other’s, we text and we also have talk on the phone. But now, I have read that talking and texting for people that aren’t married is haram except if it’s to get to know each other’s. So my first question will be: How can I know where we should put our limit about getting to know each other?
Thank you!
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Respected Sister,
We appreciate your question and observe that you wish to remain within the limits of The Sharia in making a choice to marry.
The information you have about unmarried males and females talking and texting each other is correct. It is prohibited to do so. The prohibition also includes talking and texting in order to get to know each other. Sharia protects one from all forms of illicit emotions and its traumatic consequences. When a boy and girl communicate with each other, an emotional attachment is created which spurs ones carnal desires. This then takes one to unknown destinations to fulfil ones desires, which is haram. In many instances, when one party is not satisfied with the other, the communication is terminated, thus causing emotional trauma to the other.
In many instances, men enter into a communication with women as a form of entertainment and abandon them afterwards. As a result many simple minded women have suffered the traumatic consequences. Sharia wishes to safeguard women from such scenarios and thus prohibits all forms of communication.
If a boy is interested in marrying a girl, he should see her and enquire about her from all possible avenues. He should thereafter make istikhaara (a prayer performed by Muslims when in need of guidance on an issue in their life). The girl should also adopt the same procedure. This is in keeping with each other’s dignity, respect and honour and saves each other from the problems mentioned above.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Shibly bin Mizan
Student Darul Iftaa
Toronto,Canada
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.