I have a girlfriend for almost a year. First, we were thinking like “we are going to marry inshaAllah so we can keep talking and keep dating. And our parents know that we are trying to know each other and they also know that we want to marry when we are ready”. So she and me met only 1 time and we spent time together alone at a house for 1 night. We did not sleep but we made many wrong things as you can understand. After that we did not meet again because we live another cities. We have been and still talking on phone. But right know we know that we did extremely bad things and we want to mercy from Allah and we know that what we are doing is haram (dating) . But she and me dont want to loose each other because of our past and our love to each oter and we do not want to loose mercy from Allah as well.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We commend your attitude on wishing to lead a life according to the dictates of Islam at such a sensitive age.
That being said, your involvement with this girl is contrary to the teachings of Islam. Although you intend to marry her, it is not permissible for you to remain in contact with her. You admitted that you’ve had unlawful relations with her. Do not tempt each other by remaining in communication with her. Allah says,
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا ۖ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا {32}
Translation: Do not go near (any pathways leading to) unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way. (Quran 17:32)
A solution to your predicament can be – with the permission and consent of your parents – that you arrange for your Nikah with this girl to be performed. Thereafter, you may live separately and continue to remain in contact with her.
If this is not possible, then you must break all ties from her. When you are prepared to get married, you may speak to your parents and request them to search for a suitable spouse.
Bear in mind that if you wish to have a blessed and blissful marriage, you must first correct the foundations for that marriage.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Saad Haque
Student Darul Iftaa
New Jersey, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.