I have done the worst sins, disobedience to parents, i.e directly not listening to them, or giving them mental distress etc.
Also at that time I was hauled with waswasa, and I was as a result basically messing up in everything. Started missing university, (for which my parents paid cash this year, normally the government pays the fees). Staying indoors, hardly ever going out mentally I think I have become retarded, where shall I go from here.
I have created in my mind a scenario for which I made dua that matters would become this bad causing me to go into India with the Muslims and conquering it backed up by a hadith (I don’t know if weak or strong) that those that meet Hazrat Isa and a small group that conquer India will be safe from the hell fire.
Please could you clarify and tell me what I need to do. I have in all this taken a spiritual guide but the person I have taken as the guide I am now beginning to question his intentions etc. in all of this (which I am sure I can go on writing for much longer length) I lost / confused / questioned my very faith and belief in Allah and everything as a result, I think I have aged by face, I started to miss salat, ruptured a relationship and image amongst family member relatives friends etc, etc. I think I have become a Munafiq.
Please guide me or tell me what is wrong with me
In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
Brother! You are not a Munafiq neither is your heart sealed. We all make mistakes and commit sins, and the best amongst us is the one who repents sincerely from the sins.
Ask forgiveness from your parents, build good relationship with people around you, occupy yourself in doing things and ask Allah Most High to remove the various misgivings from your heart. You should also go and see a local scholar of piety and knowledge and discuss matters with him.
There are also several related answers on www.sunnipath.com that you may want to read.
May Allah relieve you and all of us from the tribulations of this world and the hereafter, Ameen.
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Leicester , UK