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Convert Having Problems Getting Married

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Daruliftaa.com

I have been considering a young sister for some months now. She lives in another country and when I started talking to her it was through internet and on the phone with her dad’s permission. He said she was allowed to choose by what she wanted, wealth wise etc. and he would only care if he was a good Muslim and was practicing. Now, recently they were going to come here to meet me and we were going to get married. On the way here they met some family friends, who put doubts in his head saying she is not compatible (as an Arab) to a convert like me.

The question I guess now is that I am going there and I and she have both done istikhara awhile back and it came out very positive. She was hafiz since very young and I love Islam and Allah and have been learning Islam since I converted. Both of us got positive istikhara’s and were marrying for the deen etc.

If I go there to them and her dad says no because I am too young (21)… or says things like I am not wealthy enough etc. (I do have a job and my own house and support just fine but I am not well off at all but am stable enough to support a wife inshaallah)… or other reasons such as those what rights and options would me and her have? We really want to marry…

ANSWER

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

If both you and the girl like each other for the right reasons and are fully determined to marry one another, then there is no bar from a Shariah perspective from you getting married to her. However, everything must be done with wisdom, politeness and calmness in achieving this.

Explain to the girl’s father, both you and the girl (or through the medium of someone who he respects), that there is nothing wrong in getting married; rather, it would be better. If this is done with persistence (along with complete respect), then he will eventually come round to agreeing to it, Insha Allah.

Also, supplicate to Allah Almighty to make things easy for both of you, and avoid anything that is unlawful, such as informal interaction with the girl. May Allah choose what is better for both of you in this world and the hereafter, Ameen.

And Allah Knows Best

[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK

This answer was collected from Daruliftaa.com, which is headed by Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Kawthari. He’s based in the United Kingdom.

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