Answered by: Maulana Syed Johir Miah
Question
There is a young boy who is working and also doing university. He lives with his parents. The father doesn’t work and lives on welfare. He doesn’t talk to anyone in the house either. All he does is demand that his sons give him money. The son gives him $400 a month to pay for rent and groceries. But he will demand more than that. Is the son obligated to fulfill his father’s demands?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Answer:
Allah Most High says: “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” [1]
The parents go through so much to look after children, cater for them, and to nourish them and there is a reward for them in dispensing their duties.
Likewise, the children should do the same when the parents get old and need to look after financially, physically, and mentally just as the parents do when the children are younger.
Although the children will not be able to repay the parents for their favor, they can simply put a smile on their parents and while doing that attain a reward from Allah SWT.
Abdullah b. ‘Amr b. ‘As said:
، قالَ: أقْبَلَ رَجُلٌ إلى نَبِيِّ اللهِ ﷺ فَقالَ: أُبايِعُكَ عَلى الهِجْرَةِ والجِهادِ، أبْتَغِي الأجْرَ مِنَ اللهِ، قالَ: «فَهَلْ مِن والِدَيْكَ أحَدٌ حَيٌّ؟» قالَ: نَعَمْ، بَلْ كِلاهُما، قالَ: «فَتَبْتَغِي الأجْرَ مِنَ اللهِ؟» قالَ: نَعَمْ، قالَ: «فارْجِعْ إلى والِدَيْكَ فَأحْسِنْ صُحْبَتَهُما»
There came to Allah’s Apostle (ﷺ) a person and said: I owe allegiance to you for migration and Jihad seeking reward only from Allah. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Is one from amongst your parents living? He said: Yes, of course, both are living. He further asked: Do you want to seek reward from Allah? He said: Yes. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: Go back to your parents and accord them benevolent treatment. [2]
وعلى الرجل أن ينفق على أبويه وأجداده وجدته إذا كانوا فقراء وإن خالفوه في دينه
“A man has to spend on his parents, grandparents, and grandmother if they are poor and even if they disagree with his religion.[3]
على الرجل الموسر نفقة أبيه وأمه، وأب الأب وإن علا، وأم الأب وإن علت، وأم الأم وإن علت
The wealthy man has the expense of his father and his mother, the father’s father even if he is high, the father’s mother even if it is high, and the mother’s mother even if it is higher. [4]
Islam primarily places the responsibility of looking after the parents on the shoulder of the male children. They should not force their wives to look after their own parents; rather they should take care of their own parents themselves. The fact is that looking after and taking care of the parent is the responsibility of the male children, even after marriage.
Therefore, in the aforementioned case, the child should continue to contribute towards the groceries and intend that the extra you are giving to your father as an additional optional charity which will be rewardable for you in this world and in the Hereafter.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Syed Johir Miah
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham
[1] Surah Al-Isra, verse: 23-24
[2] Sahih Muslim 2549, 1975/4, Dar IhyathTurath, Beirut, Lebanon.
[3] Al-Hidayah, 292/2, Dar IhyathTurath, Beirut, Lebanon.
[4] Al-Binayah, 699/5, Darul, Kutub al-Ilmiyyah, Beirut, Lebanon, 1420 H.