My son (33 years ) married 11 years ago and have two kids (boy 10 years and a girl 8 years) his wife went away with both the kids to her parent’s home about a month ago. So far she has remained very stubborn even in talking with us and not showing any interest to come back or allow the kids to start with us and my son. Although the children are at school and madrasa, and attendance to and from school/madrasa is very much stressful for kids by coming and going from her parent’s home. More over to the best of our knowledge her parent’s economic situation is very poor as they have no regular income, and due to the above two factors we are worried about our children that they continue staying with the mother. Our daughter-in-law is also not regular in her salahs, she is most of the time spending her time in watching television and chatting using her cell phone. Always angry with my son, who is now frustrated and depressed due to his wife’s attitude. This is what we have observed. Please kindly advice me.

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

(Fatwa: 1393/1057/B=11/1434)

According to Shariah, when the child turns 7 the right of nourishment goes to his father. Hence the father may take the custody of his son with wisdom and keep him with himself. The mother should not oppose it. We could not understand your matter why your wife stays in her mother’s home and does not want to come to your home. What problem does she have with her husband? Whether the wife comes or not in each condition the expenses of children i.e. food, drink, medicine, treatment, clothes and education are levied on father. At a time when the financial condition of nana is weak then the father should take extra care of two little ones. You should solve the matter through mediation of some influential personalities with your in-laws so that the wife could live with her husband.

Allah knows Best!

Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband

This answer was collected from the official ifta website of Darul Uloom Deoband in India.

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