Living in a Haraam Relationship

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I am in a very disturbed state of mind. I am in a relationship with a guy for nearly 5 years now. My mother knows about him so do his parents but getting married at this stage is not possible because the boy is not well established. But I am afraid of Allah’s wrath and don’t want to continue with this haram (forbidden) relationship anymore. The guy proposes doing secret nikah (getting married) and not disclosing it to anyone. Is it permissible in Islam? But I am afraid what if any one comes to know about it. Please advice me what is best for me as soon as possible because I don’t want to anger Allah anymore. And moreover my parents are going for Haj this year so I don’t want to burden my sin over them. Please help.

A: Although, if the requirements for the validity of Nikah are fulfilled, the Nikah will be valid but this is highly unethical and wrong. Ponder for a moment regarding the sacrifices your parents (and his parents) went through to raise you (and him). Do you think this will be fair to them? A marriage without parental consent and approval is void of Barkat (blessings). I discourage you from taking this step.

Cut all ties immediately with him and repent for the past.When he is ready, he must send a proposal to your parents and you can marry thereafter, with their approval. This is the best way.

May Allah Ta’aala keep you in His protection, Aameen.

Moulana Yusuf Laher

This answer was collected from, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Siraj Desai of Darul-Uloom Abubakr, South Africa.

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