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I married without my parents permission and now I’m not happy with the wife. What should I do?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

A boy and girl made nikkah without parents’ consent as they both follow hanafi madhab, while the boy was in Jamaat.

However, the boy found out a few things which he isnt happy about and they are having major  problems in their marriage.

There has been no marital relations or consumation because they live in different provinces and the boy doesnt wish to see the girl anymore. Mahar hasnt been given and the feeding considered as a walimah has not been done yet.

what is the status of their marriage?

they have been communicating only over the phone.

Please could you also assist with duas to read so that they could move forward and avoid divorce In Shaa Allah.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We are sorry to learn of the major problems in the marriage. However, we are not surprised either.

When young people tend to take major matters into their hands and fail to consult with their seniors, they are bound to make major mistakes.

Marriage is a major issue. When making such decisions, the wisdom and counsel of seniors is required; especially in the case of a girl. Young people are overwhelmed by emotions and carnal desires while seniors will concentrate on realities and practicalities of life.

In the inquired situation, if you would have sought the counsel of your seniors, you could have been saved from this emotional outcome. Now, instead of pursuing the marriage against all odds, seek the counsel of your seniors. It is never too late for anything. Overlook their anger on your unilateral decision. They will most definitely be hurt. However, their love for you will prevail and they will intervene to guide you to whatever is best for you. Build the courage and confide in them. Never make such a mistake again. A Muslim never gets bit twice from the same hole.[1] Learn from your mistake and save yourself from further harm. 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

AbdulMannan Nizami

Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net

 


[1] صحيح البخاري (8/ 31)

حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عَنْ عُقَيْلٍ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، عَنِ ابْنِ المُسَيِّبِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَنَّهُ قَالَ: «لاَ يُلْدَغُ المُؤْمِنُ مِنْ جُحْرٍ وَاحِدٍ مَرَّتَيْنِ»

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A believer is not stung twice (by something) out of one and the same hole.”

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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