Last year in July they sent a proposal and it was totally an arranged marriage, they were distant relatives and the rishta was confirmed in September without engagement ceremony.Wedding dates been set up around in November which were 28th March and 30th March. I and my mum went Pakistan in January for all the shopping.
Date of marriage: 28/03/2014 (I noticed few things in his behaviour such as throwing ring towards me, completely ignorant behaviour at the start) Came back from ….. 15/04/2014 Went ……: 16/04/2014( when I went to his house I have seen he don’t take any interest in our wedding relationship. He always try to ignore me either in front of family and in room too. Whenever I tried to ask him reason he always abused me. Once he mentioned to me he read namaz that’s why he avoid and doesn’t come near me.) I used to come Burnley to take driving lessons here because my mother in law said it’s cheaper here so take it there or either go Burnley on weekends and stay there over the weekend. June 28 came for work experience: ( Zakaa and mother in law dropped me off for work experience and for driving and I came with his consent but after few days his mum mentioned to my mum that I came after having a fight with zakaa).
10th July I found out that I’m pregnant and on the way back home I told him about this news and he didn’t express any feelings nor said a single word. He never give respect to me and say words (chal chal ja, nikal ja yaha se, zaban lambi hai). ( I had driving test and he refuse to pay for it because I failed the test few times before. I took money from my father and passed the driving. On the same day he took me home, whole family was sat and talking. Zakaa’s dad started conversation with me that Isbah beti you passed your driving its good because it was your last warning given by your husband. I said to uncle yes by the grace of Allah. Uncle knew it my dad paid for this test but he still said Zakaa even didn’t paid for your current test and I said money doesn’t matter to me. After some while when Zakaa came to our room he started misbehaving with me. The words he said to me ” why you did tar tar with my daddy, and I goes please Zakaa don’t say all these words and don’t be so rude then he said zaban nikal lo ga, then I respond has your parents not told you how to give respect to others, then he hit me on my arm. (Next morning came back home with my parents then they started blaming me that this baby is from my boy friend and not his baby.
The situation went worst and I messaged him if I did wrong then I am sorry and take me back home but he said he has decided to over this relation and wants to divorce me. He said he hates me, doesn’t like me and I don’t do any household thins wherever I used to iron clothes for everyone, clean whole house, make chapattis, etc etc. My uncle asked his dad to come over and have a conversation with us. First he said he will come but after then he said he doesn’t want to listen to anything.
On 5th August I messaged him and say please forget everything and start a new life but all he wanted was to divorce and say that i should go and abort this baby because it’s either my bf or may be if it’s his then he doesn’t want it because he hates me as well. First divorce: 05/08/2014 Then he wrote in message ( I give you divorce). Second and third divorce: 20/08/2014 ( I give you divorce divorce) and had 2 seconds phone call where I asked why you doing all this don’t do that and he respond “Whatever and yeh yeh”. Questions: 1:- is divorce been confirmed over text message and is it valid?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The irresponsible conduct of your spouse is most unfortunate.
We sympathise with you in such a challenging situation and make Dua that Allah Ta’ala grant you comfort and ease. Ameen
Divorce issued via text message is valid and will take place.[1] The first divorce was on 5-8-2014. We observe you refer to the divorce of 20-08-2014 as second and third divorce. When your husband told you I give you divorce divorce (a second and third divorce), then three talaaqs (divorces) have taken place[2].
It be noted that it is Haram and a major sin to abort the baby.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Arshad Ali
Student Darul Iftaa
Trinidad
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
[1] ( رد المحتار: ج 4 ص 442 ط دار المعرفة )
وإن كانت مرسومة يقع الطلاق نوى أو لم ينو ثم المرسومة لا تخلو إما أن أرسل الطلاق بأن كتب : أما بعد فأنت طالق ، فكما كتب هذا يقع الطلاق وتلزمها العدة من وقت الكتابة إلخ
بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع (3/ 126)
وَأَمَّا الرِّسَالَةُ فَهِيَ أَنْ يَبْعَثَ الزَّوْجُ طَلَاقَ امْرَأَتِهِ الْغَائِبَةِ عَلَى يَدِ إنْسَانٍ فَيَذْهَبُ الرَّسُولُ إلَيْهَا وَيُبَلِّغُهَا الرِّسَالَةَ عَلَى وَجْهِهَا فَيَقَعُ عَلَيْهَا الطَّلَاقُ؛ لِأَنَّ الرَّسُولَ يَنْقُلُ كَلَامَ الْمُرْسِلِ فَكَانَ كَلَامُهُ كَكَلَامِهِ وَاَللَّهُ الْمُوَفِّقُ.
[2] ( رد المحتار: ج 4 ص 510 ط دار المعرفة )
( قوله كرر لفظ الطلاق ) بأن قال للمدخولة : أنت طالق أنت طالق أو قد طلقتك قد طلقتك أو أنت طالق قد طلقتك أو أنت طالق وأنت طالق إلخ ( قوله وإن نوى التأكيد دين ) أي ووقع الكل قضاء
الفتاوى الهندية – ط. دار الفكر (1/ 355)
رَجُلٌ قال لِامْرَأَتِهِ أَنْتِ طَالِقٌ أَنْتِ طَالِقٌ أَنْتِ طَالِقٌ فقال عَنَيْت بِالْأُولَى الطَّلَاقَ وَبِالثَّانِيَةِ وَالثَّالِثَةِ إفْهَامَهَا صُدِّقَ دِيَانَةً وفي الْقَضَاءِ طَلُقَتْ ثَلَاثًا كَذَا في فَتَاوَى قَاضِي خَانْ