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My wife wants me to relocate to her hometown, but I have aging parents so what should I do?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

My wife is from a different city some 300 miles from my place but after marriage she moved into my city. Both my parents stay with me and are dependent on me and i am the only son. My sister is married and lives with her husband in my city.

Problem is my wife does not like my city as it is very hot and humid here. Since the beginning of marriage she has been complaining about it and wanted me to move with her to her city. My parents in their old age are not willing to relocate with me.

However my parents gave me permission to relocate to her city for her happiness. My wife often threatens me that she will relocate and stay in her parents home if i dont relocate. My wife though is a religious women which is why I married her.

Will it be ok to leave my parents alone and relocate to a different city for my wife? Will I be asked about it in the hereafter? Whom should the importance be given here, parents or wife?

I am very much confused and worried. Please advice.

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Your parents are very kind and selfless in giving preference to your wife’s happiness over their natural desire for their son to be close to them.

Its understandable that your parents do not want to relocate with you to your wife’s hometown. In old age it is often difficult for one to relocate because a person is used to his city and has relatives and friends.

As they get older your parents’ need for you to be close by will naturally increase. Therefore, you should do your best to find alternative solutions that will address your wife’s concerns while allowing you to serve your parents whenever they need you.

Ask your wife to consider changes or upgrades to your current home or another home nearby such as:

*Installing air-conditioning or upgrading your existing system so that it can get rid of high humidity.

*Using a dehumidifier to reduce the level of humidity in the air.

*Moving to a tree-shaded neighborhood with well-placed shade trees.

*Properly insulating the home or finding another one that will keep the heat and humidity out.

Since you are their only son any adjustments like those mentioned above would be the ideal solution since your parents are aging and dependent on you.

If your wife is still not happy and insists on you relocating, and there is fear of a negative impact on the marriage, then you should consider relocating. However, do Istikhara before deciding.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Sohail ibn Arif,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

 

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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