What should I do about my weakness of returning the looks of men?

I wear the niqab Alhamdulillah. But even then, when I go out to town or University, I see men looking. I find it so hard to ignore this attention. I will keep my gaze lowered and then for that one split second, I will make eye contact. This is really frustrating me I get so angry when I do this. If i ever see a boy looking at me, I like the attention. And my eyes go to them sometimes. It’s not only boys that find it hard to lower their gaze. Girls too. I want to be able to defeat that, and not enjoy the attention. Advise me on how to fight this In Shā Allāh and what to do.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sharī’ah seeks to close all the doors of immorality and vice. Hence, Allah commands the women:

بُيُوتِكُنَّ

And remain in your homes. (Quran 33: 33)

From this verse, it is understood that the temperament of Sharīah is that a female should confine herself to her home. In this age of shamelessness, the reason for women being in their homes is more understandable. It should be evident to you by experience how the preying eyes of men are always in search of the women walking about. This is enough evidence that despite having the Niqaab on, a woman is still not safe outside the confines of her home. That is why Shari’ah advocates that she should not emerge from her home except for dire necessity.

If you are to leave your home for some necessity and are faced with the problem you have mentioned above, adopt the following means to overcome your predicament:

• Always be conscious of Allah and be wary that He is watching every action of yours. Allah says in the Qur’aan:

يَعْلَمُ خَائِنَةَ الْأَعْيُنِ وَمَا تُخْفِي الصُّدُورُ [1]

“He knows the treachery of the eyes and whatever is concealed by hearts.” 

• Remember that stealing glances at non-mahram men is a form of Zina.
  • Allah’s curse is upon those who look at the opposite gender. Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘Alayhi Wa Sallam mentioned in a Hadith:

“Allah has cursed the one who looks and the one who is being looked at.”[2]

• Have the fear of Allah and His reprehension upon disobeying His command.
• Be truthful to Allah in wearing the Niqaab. Do not wear the Niqaab to merely create an impression of piety.
• When you enjoy seeing a man, ask yourself what the difference is in him seeing you in Niqaab and seeing you without anything on. Will your inner most modesty and shame accept this?
  • Make du’a to Allah and seek His help in overcoming your weakness. Acknowledge your weakness and repent from it. Supplicate to Him to grant you the resolve of obeying His command.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Nabeel Valli

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net