Is it alright to do istikhara for a case where a woman wants to know whether she should take khulaa’. The husband is refusing to give talaaq and after marriage of 10 years she is saying she doesn’t love the husband anymore.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
It is in the best interest of a couple that they try to maintain their marriage as far as possible. Only after exhausting all other avenues of reconciliation should a spouse consider the option of separation or divorce. Separation between spouses should be a last resort. This is due to the severity of divorce being mentioned by Nabi salallāhu ῾alayhi wasallam.
Nabi salallāhu ῾alayhi wasallam mentions,
أَبْغَضُ الْحَلَالِ إِلَى اللَّهِ الطلاقُ
“The most despised permissible thing to Allah is Divorce.”
Abu Dawood 2/255
In another Hadith Nabi salallāhu ῾alayhi wasallam said,
إِنَّ إِبْلِيسَ يَضَعُ عَرْشَهُ عَلَى الْمَاءِ، ثُمَّ يَبْعَثُ سَرَايَاهُ، فَأَدْنَاهُمْ مِنْهُ مَنْزِلَةً أَعْظَمُهُمْ فِتْنَةً، يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ: فَعَلْتُ كَذَا وَكَذَا، فَيَقُولُ: مَا صَنَعْتَ شَيْئًا، قَالَ ثُمَّ يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ: مَا تَرَكْتُهُ حَتَّى فَرَّقْتُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ امْرَأَتِهِ، قَالَ: فَيُدْنِيهِ مِنْهُ وَيَقُولُ: نِعْمَ أَنْتَ
“Verily Satan places his chair on water. Thereafter he deputes his armies the lowest ranking amongst them is the greatest in causing mischief. One of them comes and says “I did such and such.” So Satan replies, “You have not done anything.” Thereafter another comes and says “I did not leave him until I caused him to separate from his wife.” So Satan brings him closer and says “Indeed you are great.”
In view of this Hadith and others carrying a similar purport, the Ulama mention seeking divorce without a valid Shari’ excuse is a great sin. This is whether divorce is given from the husband or whether it is sought from the wife.
In another Hadith Nabi salallāhu ῾alayhi wasallam warns those women who seek divorce without a justifiable cause.
أَيُّمَا امْرَأَةٍ سَأَلَتْ زَوْجَهَا طَلَاقًا فِي غَيْرِ مَا بَأْسٍ فَحَرَامٌ عَلَيْهَا رَائِحَةُ الْجَنَّةِ
“Any woman who seeks divorce unnecessarily, then even the scent of paradise is unlawful for her.”
The woman in question has been married for ten years. Her husband in the past has refused to give her Talaaq. It seems as though the husband wishes to maintain the marriage. We suggest this woman first attempt to resolve the issues she has with her husband. This should be done by approaching appropriate individuals who would be able to objectively assist both spouses.
If after having exhausted efforts in reconciliation, the wife finds no solution to her marital problems, she should consult the seniors of her family as well as make Istikhara before taking any step.
May Allah Ta῾ālā guide the woman in reference. Aameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mawlana Ali bin Cassim
Student Darul Iftaa
Los Angeles, CA (USA)
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.