I am a distressed young women in need of you opinion and advice pertaining to talaq. It is with great regret that I have to be even asking this question. I have been married to my husband for 5 months. During this time we have been going through alot of marital problems but I tolerated everything and both of us kept trying to make our marriage work holding on to the fact the we had nikah. This was most important to both of us. My husband never had any intention of divorcing me. On 12 April 2011 my husabd and I had a very ugly fight and said that can’t live with me anymore for no valid reason. I then asked him if so then why is he holding on to our nikah and if he felt so unhappy with me then maybe we should divorce but he refused and said that he will never divorce me.. He was extremely angry and could not control his temper and in a moment of rage shouted out that he give me 3 talaqs. I left our home and am now in idat but he believes that we are still married and that he never meant it from his heart and was compelled by the shaitan and wants me to come back. Is our nikkah still vailid?
Shukan
Assalāmu `alaikum Warahmatullāhi Wabrakatuh,
Almighty Allah Ta’ala says:
…Sometimes you may dislike something a thing whereas
that (disliked issue) is better for you… (Qur’ān 2:216)
Our thinking and insight is limited. As human beings we are trapped in ῾Ilmul Ghaib (knowledge of the unseen). We do not know what the future holds for us. Allah Ta’āla is ῾Alimul Ghaib (Knower of the future and unseen). When we are faced with adversities, it is natural to get affected and grieve. However, as believers we should ponder upon the verse of the Qur’ān, seek consolence through that and rise above our grief and emotions.
Allah Ta’āla promises,
We note you were married for five months and were experiencing problems. You tolerated all this. Surely you must have cried and made dua to Allah Ta’ala.
The unfortunate incident of April 12, 2011 is a culmination of all the frustration of the past.
It is most unfortunate that your ex-husband could not contain himself and issued you three divorces which are effective and are resulting in your Nikah terminating permanently. You are now in iddat (waiting period). The iddat of divorce for a woman experiencing menses is three menstrual cycles. If she does not experience menses, it will be three months. If she is conceived, her iddat will be till birth.
As stated earlier, while you be highly affected with this implications of divorce, Allah Ta’āla knows best why this happened. Place your trust in Allah and submit to His will. Patience and Endurance is greatly rewarding.
Take strength from Sabr and Salah. Turn to Allah. He controls our hearts and He will grant you all the strength to go through this.
May Allah Ta’ala make the future bright and prosperous for you. Ameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best,
Muftī Ebrahim Desai
Daruliftaa
35 Candella Rd, Durban, South Africa