My husband and I have been married for 3 months. He seems to have disappeared. I haven’t been able to get a hold of him for a week.
We haven’t consumated our marriage, because we don’t live together. I wouldn’t consumate our marriage because I wanted him to be able to save some money for a walima but it seems that he’s unable to do that, and ran away from his responsibilities. Now what? Do I get a divorce?
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
A wailma is a sunnah and not a requirement. It is not a valid reason to delay or refuse consummation. If it is not held, it will not affect the marital rights of either the husband or the wife. That being said, the walima is ideally held after the couple has met in privacy.
A valid reason to delay or refuse consummation is if the mahr (dowry due to the bride) is not given.[i]
Since it has only been a week since he’s disappeared, you should try contacting your husband’s relatives, friends, colleagues and anyone else who might know of his whereabouts.
If you are able to locate and get in touch with your husband, and would like to end the nikah, you should ask him to grant you a talaaq (divorce).
If he declines, ask him to grant you a khul’ah (a divorce request). In a khul’ah you would return/forego your mahr or provide an agreed upon monetary amount in return for your husband granting you the khul’ah.
If he declines that as well, and is not willing to return or to support you, then approach the local ulama (scholars) in your locality to begin the process to annul the nikah. The same ruling of approaching the local ulama would apply in the rare instance that he cannot be located at all, and is really missing.[ii] [iii] [iv]
And Allāh knows best.
Ml. Sohail Bengali
Chicago, IL (USA)
Concurred by:
Muftī Abrar Mirza
Chicago, IL (USA)
Under the Supervision of Muftī Ebrahim Desai (South Africa)
قوله ولها منعه إلخ )…وأشار إلى أنه لا يحل له وطؤها على كره منها إن كان امتناعها ) [i]
لطلب المهر عنده
رد المحتار كتاب النكاح، باب المهر، مطلب في منع الزوجة نفسها لقبض المهر: ٤ /٢٩٠ دار الكتب العلمية
الحيلة الناجزة، حكم زوج غائب غير مفقود: ص. ٥٩–٦٦, ٧٧ دار الإشاعت [ii]
إسلامي قانون ص. ٩٨ دار الإشاعت [iii]
ومثل المفقود من علم موضعه وشكت زوجته عدم النفقة يرسل إليه الحاكم إما أن تحضر [iv] أو ترسل النفقة أو تطلقها وإلا طلقها الحاكم
قاضي كورس و إفتاء كورس، فملي كورت: ص. ٤١٥ دار الفكر والإشاعة
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