Jazakallah for writing to the institute. You write about your desire to marry a certain girl.
Alhamdoelillah, it is commendable that you have decided to fulfill a very important aspect of your life as a Muslim. By getting married, one completes one half of one’s imaan. It is however important to choose a marriage partner who is pious and knowledgeable about her deeni obligations and responsibilities. Will she be willing to abide by the sunnahs and adopt an Islamic culture in maintaining a home for herself and her offspring? Will she create an Islamic atmosphere in the home? Will she be willing to fulfill her duties as a Muslim wife, mother and member of society? These are some important considerations to keep in mind when choosing a wife. It is therefore advisable to ask a respected person in your family (or a mutual friend) to ascertain what her character is like. Is she punctual in performing salaah, reciting the Holy Quraan daily and in observing the sunnahs. What are her habits, hobbies, interests, what type of company she prefers etc. Do not let the considerations of her beauty, social status or wealth and educational status be your main criteria.
At the same time, are you ready to treasure a woman who has been brought up with love and affection by her parents? Will you be able to fulfill her rights, honour her, love and treasure her as Allah Ta’ala would expect you to since she is HIS creation? Are you aware of your obligations towards her and also about her rights over you? Are you ready to fulfill these obligations and rights? Are you ready to treat her according to the precepts set down by our beloved Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam)? That is, to treat her with kindness, tolerance, patience, respect and with a view to overlooking her faults and correcting her with hikma (wisdom) and also seeing the good in her? Are you ready to steer the marriage by being her helper, friend, partner, lover and comforter so that the two of you can grow in love and affection together? Are you financially ready to deal with the demands of maintaining a home, with a wife and children?
I hope you realise that getting married entails a great deal of responsibility. If you think you are truly ready to marry the person whom you write about, then seek Allah Ta’ala’s guidance. Thereafter, ask your parents to approach her parents with a proposal of marriage on your behalf.
May Allah Ta’ala grant you a pious wife and may He grant you the ability to follow the sunnahs of Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam)in your treatment of your wife and family. Ameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai