It has been stated that marrying allows a Muslim to fulfill half of his/her religion and Allah has created a partner for each person from amongst ourselves (I interpret this as being a partner from the Muslim umma) However, is it possible that it is not in ones destiny to get married?
Furthermore, what if years back I met a person I considered the most suitable partner for marriage and never approached the person. At that time I was not ready to marry and in retrospect I should have married the person 5 years ago. Now it’s extremely difficult to find a suitable partner. The person I met years ago is happily married, alhamdulliha. Clearly, marriage to that person was not in my destiny, but I ask the question: Was it my naivety that let me not marry the person years back? Was it my fear of the unknown?
I am a happy person. I try to live a proper life, according to the laws of Islam. I am human, and I do sin, like we all do. I am at the point in my life where I have accepted that I may not marry. I accept what Allah has ordained for me. He has bestowed me with good health, a good job, good family etc. I thank Allah almost everyday for the good life that he has provided me. I have everything I could ever wish for, thanks to Allah. All I lack in my life is the love from a suitable wife. I often think, people can’t have everything in life. In my mind, I believe Allah has provided me with various comforts and happiness in this life, but no partner. I accept this. If it is his plan for me not to marry, I accept this. Am I incorrect in adopting this mindset?
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh
Taqdeer simply refers to the absolute knowledge of Allah. The knowledge of Allah is perfect. Nothing will happen against His perfect and absolute knowledge. If the girl in reference was not meant for you in the knowledge of Allah, she will never be for you even if it is through your naivety. That is taqdeer. As human beings we do not know our taqdeer. This is a world of means and we should adopt means fulfill our needs. One cannot sit back and simply believe that taqdeer will prevail. You should endeavor in searching for a marriage partner to fulfill the sunnah of marriage and leave your true and honest effort in the hands of Allah. The outcome will be taqdeer as in the absolute knowledge of Allah.
And Allah knows best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah