I have submitted a couple of questions before, but never got an answer. I am 30 years old, and everyone thinks i am a potential for marriage el hamdullellah, but all those who come to me, i find myself totally off against them. Except for my ex fiance who broke up with me and we couldnt be together again. I feel that God will never allow me to get married and i am so afraid to stay like this forever I have been intimate with my ex-fiance, and i asked God for forgivness, could this be the reasons? and at the same time i cannot marry someone i dont see myself with just for the sake of marriage. I pray and ask God a lot for this, i made 500 durood. for how long should i make it? and what if i am one of those who will never marry in her life and stay single for ever? I am frustrated and so is my family. Please tell me a valuable duaa for it.
I have answered your query in a previous e-mail. I would like further like to point to you that you need to change your attitude about marriage.
You say that you are “turned off” the men whom you are introduced to. You have to realise that living in the past is not going to help you in any way. You have been introduced to several men by your family and if you maintain a hostile, indifferent or negative attitude, it is obvious that these men are going to sense this. You cannot blame Allah Ta’ala for this result. You are a human being and your Creator has nothing to gain in the sense that you present your question about Him. You have to think about you respond to those who are introduced to you. I do not mean that you should accept the first man you are introduced to. I mean that you should find out more about the person by speaking to him cordially and consult with your family to find out who is suitable enough for you. This is a decision only you can make as you know best what type of person you wish to marry.
You say that you were intimate with your fiancee, I am sure that you have cried before Allah Ta’ala and sincerely asked Him for forgiveness. I suggest that you keep your promise to Him (in not committing this sin with any man again). Allah Ta’ala is most forgiving and most merciful so do not doubt His capacity to forgive. Instead change your attitude and mindset about other men. Your ex-fiancee is history so forget about him. Make as much nafil salaah as possible, continue with dua, sadqua and darood.
May Allah Ta’ala grant you a pious husband in marriage, ameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
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CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai