Respected Mufti Sahib, I am in a crisis. Atleast it is a crisis for me. I am a woman who tries her level best to stay away from family gossips etc. It makes me upset, depressed and disturbed. Apparantly, my husband’s older sister, has caused utmost problems by being extrememly nosy and by arguing with my parents-in-law, which in turn, makes my husband upset and which basically ends up making me feel disturbed as well. My in-laws live with us therefore, whenever there is an argument over the phone when my sister-in-law calls, it makes my family’s atmosphere sour. I have a toddler and I hate to see that my child has to see her grandparents getting all upset with their daughter’s problems.. petty problems. I do not want to get involved in their affairs nor do I want my child seeing this. Mufti Sahib, could you please offer me some sort of guidance, in light of our Islamic teachings, on how to handle this situation?? I would really appreciate your help. I would hate to interfere in my in-laws and my sister-in-law’s problems. PLEASE HELP. Jazakallah!
Assalaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuhu
We made Du’aa that Allah Ta’ala assist you to overcome your crisis and
removes you from all form of agony, suffering, stress and depression.
At the outset, we wish to advise that in major issues, one must exercise
patience and contain him/herself as much as possible. Apart from the above
advise, in view of your situation, we offer the following advices:
1. Since you are living with your in-laws, try not to get involved in their
personal matters. The dispute is between parents and the daughter.
Naturally, they have feelings for one another. There is a possibility of
them resolving their dispute and forgiving one another. At that stage, you
may be marginalized.
2. Introduce Ta’leem at home. The Kitaab of Fadhaail of Hadhrat Shaykh
Zakariyya has proved very effective.
3. Recite, ‘Laa Hawla Walaa Quwwata illaa billaah’ in abundance.
4. Whenever any such incident occurs and your husband is upset, try not to
discuss such matters with him. Discuss about something else.
5. Have a positive approach, be strong, Allah Ta’ala will assist you.
6. When the atmosphere in the house is uneasy, take your child to another
room, and occupy the child with some activity.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai