I am a white English male ?revert? and have been good friends with a Muslim sister for a few years now. We both used to work at the same work place and got talking thru my curiosity of Islam, infact the way this person talked and explained about Islam and the love for our creator had a major effect on me and after a solid 8/9 months of my own research Alhamdulilah I pronounced my shahada 4 months ago. We have both been of a great encouragement for each in striving to remain steadfast within our deen and helping each other over come issues within ourselves. We have talked about marriage and both feel we would be compatible partners, but the problem, this sister is of Asian origin and as tradition plays a major part in her family life the fact that I am not of the same ?cast? is going to be a major problem. Can you please tell if there is anything in ahadith or the Holy Quran that will help support us when trying to explain to family etc… that in the eyes of our lord, most high > we are both Muslims so there should be no problem.
Masha Allah welcome to Islaam. May Allah Ta’ala make you from HIS beloved
chosen friends. Dear Brother however at this stage first clarify your
acceptance of Islaam, is it because of your love for this Muslim sister or
is it because your true love for Islaam. Remember human beings do have
shortfalls and if this relationship does not work, will you give up Islaam?
After clarifying this then address the issue of nikaah, yes truly Allah
Ta’ala does not look at shape, nor colour but rather look at ‘taqwa’ in you
i.e. fear of Allah Ta’ala if one transgressors the boundaries and Love for
Allah Ta’ala who is so Loving, Caring, Kind and wants to please us not
It is rather unfortunate that people do submit to pressure of culture and
norms of society. Make Istikhaara by performing 2 rakaats salaah with
intention if this girl is a good partner in marriage for you. You may dream
of which may interpreted by certain qualified Ulema (You may ask the Imam)
or you may have a positivity or negativity about marriage. If you do go
ahead, be prepared for resistance however, perform simple nikaah, no fancies
and have a Walimah if you can afford to.
Furthermore you may win the family with love, smile and give them gifts,
etc. and make lots of dua.
NB Avoid relationship as that is the evil arrow of shaitaan leading to
adultery of eyes, hands, heart etc…to final act. However if you or she
will not be able to cope with family pressure consider situation before
getting into something that may affect your relationship as a couple. In
this case end your relationship here and now. Look for a pious man in your
area to learn about deen and to keep in an environment that will help build
the love of Our Creator Allah Ta’ala. Do not despair keep making dua to
Allah Ta’ala Insha Allah HE will your situation and future easy for you.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai