I have asked him to leave me and the kids if he wants to carry on drinking but he refuses and he gets violent, when he is not drinking he is a good man, sometimes he doen’t pray
I am sure those moments of his drinks and violence and change of character is very unpleasant and brings a lot of pain to your heart. May Allah Ta’ala remove your difficulty and pain.
There are many ways in addressing this situation, and time of recovery / change also varies. Basically on acceptance and need for change your need to make this marriage and your husbands knowledge of this.
Perhaps you may be able to enlighten us on your husbands attitude to drink, his attitude to acceptance of his weakness, his desire to change. Also are there any support groups around you to help your husband? Does he drink alone or drink with friends? Is drink available freely? How is his level of deen and love for Allah Ta’ala? How far is the musjid from your home? Are there any pious people in your area? All this info is necessary in understanding wholesome scale and to direct towards permanent change. Your threats for him to leave or separate are they genuine for empty threats will lead to same situation. Kindly reply to these quires.
In the interim , you may turn to Allah Ta’ala focus on your weakness , be it salaah or whatever, try to bring a change in your life. Cry in tauba to Allah Ta’ala for your sins and then make dua read durood sharief before and after. If you take one step towards Allah Ta’ala HE takes 10 towards you. However do not despair in Allah Ta’ala’s Mercy even if it takes long for your duas to be answered. Furthermore observe and ponder on what causes your husband to resort to drink. It is once a week which indicated that his mind is focussed and his ability to control his desires for alcohol, Allhumdullaih which is positive and Insha Allah he will someday have total control not to drink at all.
But is there any root cause of problem? Financial, Woman, friends, something from the past, worries TV addiction, lack of deen in the house and environment and influences?
We await your response.
May Allah Ta’ala Love you and your family and guide you all out of difficulties to success, Insha Allah, Aameen.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
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CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai