Asalamu Alaikum I had a forced arranged marriage to my cousin 6 yrs ago, and marshallah we now have two beautiful children. However i still feel no love for my husband since the day i got married, i have tried to love him and pray for allah to put spark into our lives, but i just can’t, he is not my soulmate, not what i looked and hoped for in a marriage, i am serverlly depressed, what should i do?
Insha Allah, Allah will reward you for your sacrifices. However consider first does this man have any good characteristics at all?
To succeed in life one has to make the best of one’s situation. Often people thought that they made the perfect choice, they found what they looked for and hoped for in marriage. But not long thereafter found their dreams dashed. Do not despair Allah Ta’ala puts love ‘Muwaddah’ into Nikaah. A love and bond unparalleled than illicit love. Believe in this -LOVE HIM, tell him what you would like to spark the emotions of romance and love in your life. You try to court him, this courtship of flirtation, romance, exchanging gifts becomes an ibaadat and draws the Mercy of Allah Ta’ala. Enjoy this as it is halaal. Do not let nafa and Shaitaan deceive you into that there is someone better out there. However if he is abusing you or not fulfilling your rights, then you are entitled to address the situation, bringing in arbitrators from both families to resolve situation. Nevertheless try and read the book on sexual ettiquettes which discusses love, foreplay etc.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai