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I have a 10 yr old step daughter. My husbands ex wife is Christain, he and I are both Muslim. The exwife has custody while we have visitation rights

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I have a 10 yr old step daughter.  My husbands ex wife is Christain, he and I are both Muslim.  The exwife has custody while we have visitation rights.  I love this daughter and she loves me.  Because of the hatred the mother has for my husband and I she constantly gives her misleading and wrong information about Islam.  Even feeds her Haram on purpose just to to make us mad. Also the ex-wife dresses very modern, short dresses and such, and dates.  She has even started giving the 10 yr old dating tips!!

We take her to Masjid, she prays with us at home and we try our best to set the example as good Muslims to her.  As she is getting older and seeing how other non Muslim American kids lives, plus the influence of her mother I worry more and more about what to do.  I along with her Father pray constantly abou this.  Can you offer any advise on what steps we can take to help her understand how important it is that she Prays, lives right, is the proper Muslim we are trying our best to bring her up to be.  Especially since we have limited time we get to visit with her.

Answer

JazakAllah for writing to the institute regarding your concerns about your precious 10year old girl. May Allah Ta’ala in His infinite mercy shower His guidance and Rahma over her and her parents, ameen.

Sister, you are in a difficult situation indeed. I suggest that you both remain the good role models you are so that she will want to imitate you all her life. Although her mother presents as a problem, do not let her behavior deter you from having a special relationship with the child.Spend quality time with her and let her witness the virtues of Islam whilst she is with you. Do not in any way say anything negative against her mother, rather focus on the child’s positive behavior and encourage her to try to strive for the good within her and her heritage as a Muslimah. It is as if she is a diamond surrounded by an unhealthy environment. However, there will be no good in focusing on the environment. Rather highlight the sparkle, purity and splendor which lies within the diamond, (which is her soul).

Try as far as possible not to overwhelm her but to teach her about the children of Islam and the life of Nabi(sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) as a child etc. Present the religion in a practical way and do practice whatever you teach her so that she can see and value these precepts. May Allah Ta’ala guide all of you and keep you and your child safe from Shaitaan’s clutches. Insha’allah as soon as she is able, may she be guided to live with you and adopt her true religion, ameen.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Sister Fadila
SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Fatwa Dept.)

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