AssalamoAlaikum My question is in relation to the last question i asked in relation to tafwid. Adding bit more details.At the time of nikkah it wasn’t brought to my knowledge whether i have this( tafwid) right or not. They only asked me about my husband in relation to nikkah and i said qabool qabool qabool then i signed the nikkah nama. Now nikkah nama can’t be found as it was 15 years ago. My mum think I don’t have tafwid right but I m a big waswasa person i am not satisfied as i think she may had forgotten about it. Do I have tafwid right or not? I roughly remember from wedding video that i signed after my husband signed nikkah nama I am getting mad thinking i may have tafwid right i keep thinking to what i say and there are bad thoughts comes to my mind. I am going into depression zone badly and feeling to go towards insanity. One time I was putting my child to naughty corner as he was misbehaving over something and the bad thought came to my mind it was forcing me to say something bad i kept saying no bad intention loudly. Does it constitute divorce as i am not sure whether i had intended it or was forced to believe wrongly due to the bad thought in mind. I couldn’t have self control on my thoughts n it was forcing me to think something bad and say bad but i kept saying no bad intention no bad intention loudly. Now i have doubts in relation to intention whether I intended or not. I think I didn’t intend cause i am already fighting in my mind everyday to avoid bad thought of divorce all the time. Even now when i was writing this message when i wrote word divorce firstly i wrote d then it automatically came on my mobile then i clicked on the word and then thought may b I intended it but actually i think it was just a bad thought. I think I wrote the word to deny the thought it doesn’t matter even if i write this word as i am writing to just ask question from your website but again having doubts. I am sure of one thing i never want tafwid right and love my husband dearly. I can’t trust on my intentions as i get very confused to what i intend. But i cant intend as i am Struggling with the thoughts to not say anything bad coz i dont want anything bad to happen. I keep thinking about my intentions and having doubts on what i say and i mean Then i also get scared if i wrongly assumed that i didn’t intend when i did intend astagfirullah. Sometimes i feel I may had intended but then gets unsure. Then once i was reading about questions regarding divorce and then my tongue inside my mouth was moving by reading the post and i said No quickly. But my mouth was shut it made me think that i may had uttered inside the closed lips. I started to have doubts on them. Then i thought to see doctor for antidepressants but my family stopped me. My mind cannot relax as i keep thinking about one thing over and over regarding whether having intention or not. What should i do? Reading above circumstances do u think i may had intended and is my nikkah valid? (By bad thought i mean bad thought about divorce.) Since i read about delegation of right ( tafwid)I have gone insane with my thoughts. I think whatif i have a right so i avoid saying or thinking anything bad. I have been asking for my copy of nikkah nama to look in that but it cannot be found at this stage. Are these mere waswasas or what am i dealing with? Is my nikkah valid? Does my intentions matter as i m confused and in doubts most of the time? What if i dont know about tafwid right what should i assume? My husband doesn’t know about my condition, I can’t concentrate on things and keep thinking abt one topic over n over n think about my intentions. All these happening with the thought that i dont want to have tafwid right as i dont trust n control on my thoughts and doubt my intentions all the time.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘Alaikum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We take note of your previous question. [1] According to Shariah, the husband has the right to divorce. [2]
The practice of tafwid-al-Talaq is not common. Therefore, you may regard your nikah as a normal nikah without tafwid of Talaq. [3]
Your thoughts are whispers of Shaitān, ignore those thoughts and focus on your marriage.
Whenever you experience such thoughts, recite the following duas constantly:
أعوذُ باِللهِ مِنَ الشَّيطَانِ الرَّجِيم
(I seek refuge in Allah from the rejected devil). [4]
لاحول ولا قوة إلا بالله
(There is no strength and power except with the assistance of Allah).
أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ نَفْسِي
(I seek refuge in you from the evil of my soul and from the evil of Satan and his companions). [5]
Recite Istighfaar as much as possible. Recite Muawwazatain (Surah Naas and Falaq).
May Allah Ta’āla bless your marriage and keep it safe and protect you from the evil of Shaitān. Ameen.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Rabiul Islam
Student Darul Iftaa
Detroit, Michigan, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
[1] http://askimam.org/public/question_detail/40920
Question:
AssalamoAlaikum, My nikkah cermony happened about 15 years ago. What I remember that long time back someone from family came and i said qabool and then signed the nikkah nama. I had been researching on internet and found out about Tafwid which means husband can give right to the wife to divorce. I remember long time back my mum was talking about it before my nikkah. But I am not sure whether there was yes on nikkah nama in place of tafwid. I asked my mum and she said that the right hasn’t been given and they crossed that out. But my mind is still stuck there. I live overseas and asked my dad to get my nikkah nama from the molvi but hez also struggling calling him and asking him. In case of not finding original or copy nikkah nama What should i assume whether I have a right or not? I don’t want to have right as i am a person full of waswasas. Since i read about tafwid and delegation it has made my life miserable. I keep thinking if i say certain word or sentence it may cause divorce and sometimes the word divorce comes to my mind without me having intention of it. Then i keep thinking and keeps getting confused whether i had intention or not. I never have bad intention but my thoughts force me to think that i may had bad intention. Now its interrupting my normal conversation with other people. When i want to say something the thought stops me to say something or else if i continue normal conversation by denying the bad thought about divorce it makes me think that i may had intention. Today i was praying asar salah and reciting surah Fatiha and the word divorce came to my mind and I couldn’t get it out of my thought/ mind and kept reading Surah Fatiha. Then i got worried that i may had bad intention because I didn’t deny bad thought in my mind. Whenever i have a bad thought of divorce i keep saying no no or no bad intention in my mind to ignore it but in normal conversation its so hard to avoid that thought. I am getting mad i get so many bad thoughts of divorce and i never have bad intention. And i keep getting confused about my intentions and keep thinking whether i had intention or not. The thoughts are making me confused and so sad all the times. These thoughts are disturbing my normal routine of having conversations and its happening so frequently in a day. I have doubts on what i say about 3-4 times a day or a bit more roughly. 1. Does wife’s kinaya words of divorce cause divorce if she has tafwid right ( delegation by husband)? 2. In case of not knowing what was in nikkah nama, what should i assume whether i have a right or not? We also signed marriage certificate overseas after that nikkah nama and that certificate doesn’t have any conditions 3. Does bad thought of divorce in mind while reciting surah fatiha cause divorce? 4. Does wife also use eela words? Is it valid or only to be used by the husband? I don’t want to have tafwid as i am a person full of waswasas.
Answer
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salaamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullaahi wa-barakaatuh.
Sister in Islaam,
We take note of the contents of your query. May Allaah Ta’aala alleviate you from your predicament.
Your waswasahs (whispers) are from Shaitaan. You should simply ignore such wandering thoughts.
You state that your mother has denied the tafweedh of talaaq, rather it was crossed out in the marriage contract. That is sufficient to say that the right of divorce was not granted to you. Moreover, the default position in a marriage is the wife does not have the right of divorce unless granted by the husband. Furthermore, tafweedh of talaaq is governed by strict conditions. The mere thought of talaaq or similar statements by the wife does not constitute divorce.
To overcome your waswasah problem, we advise you to recite the following abundantly,
أعوذُ باِللهِ مِنَ الشَّيطَانِ الرَّجِيم
Translation: I seek refuge in Allaah from the rejected devil.
لاحول ولا قوة إلا بالله
Translation: There is no power and no might except with Allaah.
You may also read the following book: Combating the Whisperings of Shaitan by Shaykh Yunus Patel (Rahimahullaah) for effective methods on dealing with waswasah.
https://islamicexorcism.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/combating-the-whisperings-of-shaytaan.pdf
And Allaah Ta’aala Knows Best.
Muajul I. Chowdhury
Student, Darul Iftaa
Astoria, New York, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
[2] الحجة على أهل المدينة (3/ 505-504 م: عالم الكتب – بيروت) أبو عبد الله محمد بن الحسن بن فرقد الشيباني (المتوفى: 189هـ)
كتاب النِّكَاح. بَاب فسخ النِّكَاح:
مُحَمَّد قَالَ قَالَ ابو حنيفَة رَضِي الله عَنهُ كل فرقة بَين الرجل وامرأتة وَقعت من قبل الرجل فَهِيَ طَلَاق إِلَّا فِي خصْلَة وَاحِدَة اذا ارْتَدَّ عَن الاسلام لم تكن ردته بِطَلَاق وكل فرقة جَاءَت من قبل الْمَرْأَة فَلَيْسَتْ بِطَلَاق بِوَجْه من الْوُجُوه لَان الطَّلَاق بيد الرجل لَا بيد الْمَرْأَة…
[3] {يَاأَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُلْ لِأَزْوَاجِكَ إِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَيَاةَ الدُّنْيَا وَزِينَتَهَا فَتَعَالَيْنَ أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ وَأُسَرِّحْكُنَّ سَرَاحًا جَمِيلًا (28) وَإِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَالدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَدَّ لِلْمُحْسِنَاتِ مِنْكُنَّ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا } [الأحزاب: 28، 29]
تحفة الفقهاء (2/ 187 م: دار الكتب العلمية، بيروت – لبنان) محمد بن أحمد بن أبي أحمد، أبو بكر علاء الدين السمرقندي (المتوفى: نحو 540هـ)
كتاب الطَّلَاق. بَاب تَفْوِيض الطَّلَاق:
هَهُنَا فُصُول أَرْبَعَة أَحدهَا أَن يَقُول لامْرَأَته أَمرك بِيَدِك وَالثَّانِي أَن يَقُول لَهَا اخْتَارِي وَالثَّالِث أَن يَقُول أَنْت طَالِق إِن شِئْت وَالرَّابِع أَن يَقُول طَلِّقِي نَفسك
أما الأول فَهُوَ نَوْعَانِ إِمَّا أَن يكون مُطلقًا أَو مؤقتا
أما إِذا قا أَمرك بِيَدِك مُطلقًا وَلم يوقته بِوَقْت وَيُرِيد بِهِ الطَّلَاق فَإِنَّهُ يصير أمرهَا بِيَدِهَا وَيصير الطَّلَاق مفوضا إِلَيْهَا وَتصير مالكة للتطليق مَا دَامَت فِي مجلسها ذَلِك وَإِن طَال
وَهَذَا إِذا كَانَت حَاضِرَة وَسمعت الْأَمر من الزَّوْج وَعلمت بِهِ
فَأَما إِذا كَانَت غَائِبَة أَو حَاضِرَة وَلم تسمع فلهَا الْخِيَار فِي مجْلِس بلغ إِلَيْهَا الْخَبَر فِيهِ وَعلمت بذلك لِأَن هَذَا تمْلِيك الطَّلَاق وَالتَّمْلِيك يقْتَصر جَوَابه على الْمجْلس وَيكون مؤقتا بِهِ كَمَا فِي قبُول البيع…
الهداية في شرح بداية المبتدي (1/ 236 م: دار احياء التراث العربي – بيروت – لبنان) علي بن أبي بكر بن عبد الجليل الفرغاني المرغيناني، أبو الحسن برهان الدين (المتوفى: 593هـ)
كتاب الطَّلَاق. باب تفويض الطلاق: فصل في الاختيار
” وإذا قال لامرأته اختاري ينوي بذلك الطلاق أو قال لها طلقي نفسك فلها أن تطلق نفسها ما دامت في مجلسها ذلك فإن قامت منه أو أخذت في عمل آخر خرج الأمر من يدها ” لأن المخيرة لها المجلس بإجماع الصحابة رضي الله عنهم أجمعين ولأنه تمليك الفعل منها والتمليكات تقتضي جوابا في المجلس كما في البيع…
الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (3/ 314 م: دار الفكر-بيروت)
كتاب الطَّلَاق.
باب تفويض الطلاق لما ذكر ما يوقعه بنفسه بنوعيه ذكر ما يوقعه غيره بإذنه. وأنواعه ثلاثة: تفويض، وتوكيل، ورسالة وألفاظ التفويض ثلاثة: تخيير وأمر بيد، ومشيئة.
(قال لها اختاري أو أمرك بيدك ينوي) تفويض (الطلاق) لأنها كناية فلا يعملان بلا نية (أو طلقي نفسك فلها أن تطلق في مجلس علمها به) مشافهة أو إخبارا (وإن طال) يوما أو أكثر ما لم يوقته ويمضي الوقت قبل علمها (ما لم تقم) لتبدل مجلسها حقيقة (أو) حكما بأن (تعمل ما يقطعه) مما يدل على الإعراض لأنه تمليك فيتوقف على قبول في المجلس لا توكيل، فلم يصح رجوعه، حتى لو خيرها ثم حلف أن لا يطلقها فطلقت لم يحنث في الأصح (لا) تطلق (بعده) أي المجلس (إلا إذا زاد) في قوله طلقي نفسك وأخواته (متى شئت أو متى ما شئت أو إذا شئت أو إذا ما شئت) فلا يتقيد بالمجلس (ولم يصح رجوعه) لما مر.
•———————————•
[باب تفويض الطلاق]
أي تفويضه للزوجة أو غيرها صريحا كان التفويض أو كناية، يقال: فوض له الأمر: أي رده إليه حموي، فالكناية قوله اختاري أو أمرك بيدك، والصريح قوله طلقي نفسك أبو السعود (قوله بنوعيه) أي الصريح والكناية ح (قوله وأنواعه) الضمير عائد إلى ما يوقعه الغير لا للتفويض، وإلا يلزم تقسيم الشيء إلى نفسه وإلى غيره أبو السعود (قوله تفويض وتوكيل) المراد بالتفويض تمليك الطلاق كما يأتي.
(قوله ما لم يوقته إلخ) فلو قال: جعلت لها أن تطلق نفسها اليوم اعتبر مجلس علمها في هذا اليوم، فلو مضى اليوم ثم علمت خرج الأمر عن يدها، وكذا كل وقت قيد التفويض به وهي غائبة ولم تعلم حتى انقضى بطل خيارها فتح وبحر وسيأتي فروع في التوقيت آخر الباب وأنه لا يبطل الموقت بالإعراض…
(قوله في مجلس علمها) أفاد أنه لا اعتبار بمجلسه، فلو خيرها ثم قام هو لم يبطل، بخلاف قيامها بحر عن البدائع ط (قوله مشافهة) أي في الحاضرة أو إخبارا في الغائبة منصوبان على الحالية من علمها
(قوله ويمضي الوقت) معطوف على يوقته المجزوم، وإثبات الياء فيه من تحريف النساخ أو على لغة كما هو أحد الأوجه التي يجاب بها عن قوله تعالى {إنه من يتق ويصبر} [يوسف: 90] في قراءة رفع يصبر؛ فالمعنى لها أن تطلق في المجلس وإن طال مدة عدم توقيته، ومضى الوقت بأن لم يوقته أو وقته ولم يمض، فإن وقته ومضى سقط الخيار، وأما جعله مرفوعا فالواو فيه للحال فهو فاسد صناعة ومعنى؛ أما الأول فلأن جملة الحال التي فعلها مضارع مثبت لا تقترن بالواو، وأما الثاني فلصيرورة المعنى مدة لم يوقت في حال مضي الوقت وإذا لم يوقت كيف يمضي الوقت فافهم، نعم في بعض النسخ فبمضي الوقت بالفاء والباء الجارة للمصدر والمعنى فإن وقت فينتهي المجلس بمضي الوقت…
[4] {وَإِمَّا يَنْزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ} [فصلت: 36]
{وَقُلْ رَبِّ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ هَمَزَاتِ الشَّيَاطِينِ (97) وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ رَبِّ أَنْ يَحْضُرُونِ} [المؤمنون: 97، 98]
[5] سنن الترمذي ت بشار (5/ 430 م: دار الغرب الإسلامي – بيروت) محمد بن عيسى بن سَوْرة بن موسى بن الضحاك، الترمذي، أبو عيسى (المتوفى: 279هـ)
3529- حَدَّثَنَا الحَسَنُ بْنُ عَرَفَةَ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ عَيَّاشٍ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ زِيَادٍ، عَنْ أَبِي رَاشِدٍ الحُبْرَانِيِّ، قَالَ: أَتَيْتُ عَبْدَ اللهِ بْنَ عَمْرِو بْنِ العَاصِ، فَقُلْتُ لَهُ: حَدِّثْنَا مِمَّا سَمِعْتَ مِنْ رَسُولِ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَأَلْقَى إِلَيَّ صَحِيفَةً، فَقَالَ: هَذَا مَا كَتَبَ لِي رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: فَنَظَرْتُ فِيهَا فَإِذَا فِيهَا: إِنَّ أَبَا بَكْرٍ الصِّدِّيقَ قَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ عَلِّمْنِي مَا أَقُولُ إِذَا أَصْبَحْتُ وَإِذَا أَمْسَيْتُ، فَقَالَ: يَا أَبَا بَكْرٍ قُلْ: اللَّهُمَّ فَاطِرَ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ عَالِمَ الغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ رَبَّ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ وَمَلِيكَهُ، أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ نَفْسِي، وَمِنْ شَرِّ الشَّيْطَانِ وَشِرْكِهِ، وَأَنْ أَقْتَرِفَ عَلَى نَفْسِي سُوءًا أَوْ أَجُرَّهُ إِلَى مُسْلِمٍ. هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ مِنْ هَذَا الوَجْهِ.