I am married for a couple of years. Its been a while that I have started to notice my husband lack of interest in me and kids. I had couple of questions in mind what s bothering him, why is he least interested in anything with me, get s upset at me without any reason, if I talk he complains you talk too much etc. After being suspecious regarding his behaviour caught him on the internet viewing pronography, I am confirmed he ALSO HELP HIMSELF. he said its the first time I DO NOT BELIEVE him. anyways, during this time period he lied to me that I am off it no more its bad habit I am trying to get over it. All lame excuses. When I checked his PC all opened in front of me HE IS BIG LIAR he is still watching it regularly. The reason of me asking here is he portrays in front as to much a pious person of Islam salaat, tableegh zkr etc. Please need to know what do trust him with daughters in the house? of all when I said will leave him alone to himself taking teh kids out of this filth he had nothing to be apologitic. What am I hard rock. no feeling s being hurt from a person whom I have given all of my life. What should be done and can do. So that I do not want my daughters to be even near this filth.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh
There are three issues
a) Your husbands wrongs
b) Fear for your daughters
If your husband has acknowledged that he has a habit, then it is important that he seeks help from an Alim or pious person who may assist him is removing this evil habit. He should fear Allah, life after death and accountability in the Court of Almighty Allah Azza Wa Jal. If he persists in his bad habits and you have no recourse, you may consider seeking the intervention of some senior family member or even his parents. Perhaps he will be ashamed of his habit and sincerely repent to Allah for his wrongs.
Your concerns for your daughters are justified. You should keep a watchful eye over them and make sure that they are saved from these types of habits. Always remind them about Allah and His Rasul and that we are to face Allah one day. If they are exposed to your husband’s wrongs and are being disturbed by it, you should consult with your family and adopt the best possible way to protect them.
After all we are human and we are prone to err. It is possible that Shaytaan has got the better of your husband and has lured him into this evil. Draw help and courage from your Salaah, Zikr and recitation of the Quraan. Keep your gaze to Allah as He is always with you. Do not become despondent as those close to Allah never ever become helpless and despondent. Cry to Allah to reform your husband and that he protects you and your entire family from the evils of this habit. Surely! Allah will answer your call and make a way out for you from this difficulty.
And Allah knows best
Muhammed Zakariyya Desai,
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah