Can one limit the communication of his/her prospective spouse?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

As Salamu Alaikum 

I am a muslimah who has an intendant with 3 children. From prior relationships. 2 are boys 15 and 18. And a 7 year old girl. He became muslim 4 yrs ago.

At this time we are in the middle of compiling the marriage contract some of the conditions that have been included from my father is that he the intendant limits the amount of communication that he has with the children’s mothers. At this time he does not understand that the children are above the age where they’re able to communicate or he could call a number directly and speak to them the 18 year-old he speaks directly to with no interaction with the mother the fifteen-year-old he stated that he only speaks to the child however we’ve seen where a call is coming through and the mother has called to speak to him and not the kid so at this time I asked what is there for me to inject or what basis do I have to curtail this communication because when I explained it to him it seems as if when we are all talking that he doesn’t understand he thinks that it’s a Tit for Tat but that is not the case.

And because of that me being a professional working woman and Senior leadership within my field it would seem as if he wants to restrict mean professionally for being able to communicate because I’m asking him to limit the communication with the mothers whereas if not it’s likely he’s asking me but because I’m asking him and so was coming across emotionally that he is asking me so I’m asking one of these limits I do understand the need to curtail any communication with anyone outside of him that is male with level Communications that I have to have often times professional in nature and they usually are conducted during work and not outside of work. But like a child if you make me do this then you have to do this and that is not the way it’s supposed to be so I’m just asking for some sense of God as some sense of direction because I want to have a healthy marriage but at the same time like I told him everything needs to make sure that when we write our conditions the contract for my father related to him that I said that everything is based off of the Hadith in the Holy Quran.

I’ve been researching and researching and researching and I cannot find anything that specifically clarifies the level of communication between a parent and children with children in x x people because they would not be considered a while so I consider the rationale the same for a talaq spouse. That has met the three Cycles of making them ineligible but also because of the fact that they’re not listening these women. I did read where he should not provoke me however at the same time I am trying to be sensible and rational in this I have no problem with the children at all I’ve increased the size of our home to accommodate these three children and I expect the same in return and courtesy it is my finances that puts us in a better position islamically to maintain at this current time. Allah has blessed me to be in a hot air station professionally in his family and I have no problem assisting with ensuring that our family is ok however it needs to be understood that expectations


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

 As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

We do not observe a clear query in your submission. Kindly email [email protected] with a

specific query you would like answered.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

 Imran Faruk

Student Darul Iftaa

 Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai. 

This answer was collected from, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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