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Being a married girl, What are your financial duties to your parents? Especially when your father is sick and not working.

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I am the eldest girl, I only have two younger brothers. My father lost his job 4 years ago. My 2 brothers are still studying in university. However, I have finished my education and am married now. I used to work to help them, but quit my job because it was interfering with my duties as a wife. My father and middle brother live together in the States and both are clinically depressed. My mother and youngset brother live back home (my mother works as a teacher to help the situation) and does not want to come to the States because she hates it here. I am in a dilemma. My husband can not understand how two grown muslim men can get depressed like this and looks down upon my family .. sometimes I don’t blame him but it makes me feel so sad. I felt too guilty to not help them financially , but this made my husband look down on them even more, he says that a man should not expect a woman to support him .. I agree, but what else can I do? Now that they have no financial support from me, they both got depressed and are withering away. They will not even feed themselves now. I have to travel to another state to visit them, and it makes my husband mad to see me have to deal with this as if I were the man of the family. I feel torn apart. On one side, I wish to be a good wife. On the pther side, I wish to be a good daughter and sister. What am I obligated to do? What is the Islamic thing to do? I am soo confused and sad. Please help me.


It is important for you to please your father but at the same time, this
should not place a strain on your marriage. When parents are unable to
support themselves, the children are obliged to assist them only as far as
they are individually able to do so. Therefore, you may assist your father
but cannot utilise your husband’s money to do so.

As a married woman, you should be careful not to neglect your duties to your
husband and children. It seems that travelling too frequently to visit
worries your husband. Therefore, be sure to always solicit his permission
before travelling.

May Allah Ta’ala alleviate your distress and send ease to your family

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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