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Should I divorce her or should I stay married to her for fear of her influencing the girls from being good muslims. My married to this woman is a western type of marriage. Please help.

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I am married to a christian woman for about 14 years. I have been trying to revert her into Islam but It has not happened yet. she became a muslim for a short time but later went back to beeing a christian. citing it being difficult. We have two daughters who are practicing muslims. I am struggling to live the Complete Islamic way of life. the mother’s influence to the girls is slowing that dream. what is the islamic rule in this. Should I divorce her or should I stay married to her for fear of her influencing the girls from being good muslims. My married to this woman is a western type of marriage. Please help. May Allah reward you.

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh

The concern for your children’s religion is truly a sign of Imaan.  May Allah guide you and assist you, Ameen.

One of the rights children have upon the parents is to receive a proper Islamic upbringing.  Parents will be questioned in the court of Allah regarding this right.  You are married to a Christian woman, therefore you must make extra effort to ensure that the children are raised in an Islamic manner and are not influenced by Christianity.  One of the wisdoms of Shariah permitting a Muslim man to marry a Christian woman but not vice versa is that a man is in charge of the household affairs.  He is able to control what takes place under his roof.   As for a woman, she is emotionally weak and does not have a strong authority in the household affairs.

As a father, it is your responsibility to make sure the children are continuously being exposed to Islam and its teaching.  All necessary means should be adopted to ward off the influence of Christianity.  Try to put the children in a madressa or a Muslim school.  Make sure they have Muslims friends.   Inshallah, by having a close eye on the activities of the children, one can make sure they are not being attracted towards Christianity.

As regards to your wife, divorce is resented in Shariah.  We advice you not to take the path of divorce. Instead make effort on her and try to work things out as you already have children from her.  Now its time for damage control.  Also, marriage is not a contract or compromise, but it’s an act of worship.  To be kind towards your wife and show her love, regardless if she’s a Muslim or Christian, is a virtuous act and beloved in the eyes of Allah.  Show her love and good character and with wisdom explain to her about the teachings of Islam and how beautiful the religion is.  Do not be despondent upon her not accepting Islam after so many years of staying together.  Hidaya is in the hands of Allah.  Many people accept the truth about Islam and see the light after decades.  Therefore, continuously make dua for her that she accepts Islam and make effort on the kids, so they are not inclined towards Christianity.  Also much depends on your attitude towards your wife.  You should probably review that with a confidante and if need be make adjustments.  May Allah make it easy for us to raise children in an Islamic manner and may He guide us to make correct decisions in life, Ameen. 

And Allah knows best

Wassalam

Ml. Ehzaz Ajmeri,
Student Darul Iftaa

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah


UPDATE ON THE QUERY

Q. With regards to Fatwa #  15760  on www.askimam.org, hasn’t the questioner’s wife become murtad (because the questioner says that she became muslim and then left it), and so the marriage has been annulled.

A.

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh

Jazakallah for bring this information to our attention.  The wife has become an apostate due to her accepting Islam for a short while then returning to Christianity.  In normal circumstance the nikah should have been annulled.  However, the Hanafi Jurists of Balkh, Samarqand, and few jurists of Bukharah have given a relaxation in ruling that nikah will not be annulled upon her become an apostate and she will remain in nikah of the husband.  It is more appropriate to adopt this ruling for those country not governed by Shariah.

Nevertheless, the husband will not be able to have intercourse with the wife or conduct any intimate action.  The wife will have to re-accept Islam for the affairs of the husband and wife to continue as normal.

Jawahir al-Fiqh (2/137) Maktaba Darul Uloom Karachi

And Allah knows best

Wassalam

Ml. Ehzaz Ajmeri,
Student Darul Iftaa

Checked and Approved by:

Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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