My mother who is widowed and lives seperately from us wishes my eldest daughter age 5 to live with her to keep her company. Can I say no?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

My wife and I have 2 children and both are girls. The eldest one is nearly 5 years old. My family and I used to live together with my mother who is aged 48 until recently. My father died 10 years ago. As a consequence of us living together my mother has become very attached to my eldest child. Recently my mother has decided to live separately and now lives about 20 minutes away (by car) from us. My mother has forced me to allow the eldest girl to spend the nights during the week with her and the weekends with us. I did offer my mother the weekends but she has refused. My mother has said the eldest dauther will keep her company during the nights. During the weekdays my eldest daughter goes to school. My wife and I are not happy with this situation and believe my family will benefit more and the children will develop better by staying with their parents and there will be less jealousy between the children as they grow up. Am I forced to comply with my mothers’s wishes? And if not what if my mother curses me for not having complied?


According to the Shari’ah, you have the right to make decisionss for your
child. However, should you decide to fulfil your mother’s wish, it is not
against Shari’ah either.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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This answer was collected from, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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