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Fighting between husband and wife in small issues

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org


I had my nikkah in Haram Kaaba, back in December 2015 Alhamdulillah, but not ruksati till the month of September.

In the start I and my wife have a beautiful conversation and mental understanding. but since past a month we are fighting on very small issues and the fight took long and it feels like our love in our heart is going down.

Please suggest me what should I do. As we are getting married this month InshaAllah, as the days are near the conflicts and issues between us rises very often.

Please suggest some dua and advise.


JazakAllah kher.


In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

We attach the marriage recipe of Mufti Ibrahim Desai Sahib. Follow the advises in it. Insha Allah there will be barakah in the marriage.

1.      Fear Allah:

It was the noble practice of Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam* to conscientize the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Qur’ān. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2.     Never be angry at the same time:

Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah salallahualayhi wasallam and sought some advice. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkaat pg.433; HM Saeed)

3.     If one has to win an argument, let it be the other:

Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)

4.     Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire:

Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said: “and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)

5.     If you have to criticize, do it lovingly:

Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawud vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.

6.     Never bring up mistakes of the past:

Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyaamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)

7.     Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner:

Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda (May Allah be pleased with him) for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)

8.     Never sleep with an argument unsettled:

Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)

9.     At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner:

Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)

10. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness:

 Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam said, ‘All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499)

And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best

Rajeeb Qasimi

Kerala, India

Check and approved

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.