This year I got engaged to a girl. I thought she was a religious girl. I see her around the city with boys and hugging them. I am told by people who go to her school that she only stays with boys. We are not allowed to talk or meet but I hear about her being alone with talking to and meeting boys. She makes a secret effort to see them. I don’t keep any girls as friends because I want to keep that special for her but she is not doing the same. I feel she does not care for me the way I do for her and that religiously we are both going in different directions. Should I end this so that we don’t get married and have problems? If I do marry her it will not be because of how strong her Islam is but for some other reason.
We are advised to exercise patience and restraint only if we are faced with
such a problem that has no apparent solution to it. We are not advised to
enter into a problem. Rasulallah advised us to make dua for aafiyah
(goodness). We are also advised not to make dua for Sabr, as that is
indirectly requesting for a problem in order to make sabr.
You are not required to endure patience to the girl you are engaged to if
you do not want to marry her due to her loose relationship with boys.
Compatibility in marriage is of paramount importance. It is the secret
behind a successful and happy marriage. Marriage partners that are not
compatible to one another are often engaged in disputes and more
unfortunately breaking in the marriage. That creates unbearable grief and
agony to the divorce partners as well as many families, friends, and
associates. You did not state the other reason besides her Islam to marry
her. However, any approach towards
Marriage besides Islam and piety is not an ideal one. You should reconsider
that by making Istighfar and seeking the honest guidance of Allah.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
for Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.