Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. First, let me congratulate you on your obedience to Allah and His Messenger, it is truly inspiring to see a young lady like yourself covering and praying and hoping to help her family change. May Allah reward you greatly.
Discharge
Your discharge situation is simpler than you think. You are correct to use the bathroom, wash, make wudu, and pray. This is the best way to ensure that you have wudu. Keep in mind that it may not be necessary to change your panty liner, as, in the Shafi’i school, regular discharge is not considered filth, it only invalidates the wudu.
As for any wetness that you feel afterward, you don’t need to worry about it all. You don’t need to go to the bathroom to check and see what happened. Very often, one can feel something, but there really is nothing there.
You also should not push toilet paper into your private part (insertion), because it is safer and healthier not to insert anything in the privates, especially if you are unmarried. The shari`ah would never ask such a thing of you.
Also, make a point of drying yourself well after using the bathroom, as leaving any wetness there, can lead to infection, especially if your underwear is not cotton. So keep up with what you are doing, without all the extra checking.
Parents
As for your parent, it is difficult to see them live a lifestyle that is not pleasing to Allah, and the best thing that you can do is be a good example of generosity, kindness, and service. They should correlate your new religious behavior with your increase in good character and maturity. Don’t be mean, impatient, or critical or they will associate that with Islam and be displeased with it.
Continue to tread on the path of righteousness and gain Islamic knowledge and apply it as you go along. Don’t worry too much about their amulet, because as their religion grows, they will drop these little habits. I pray that you can be a guiding light for your parents and their source of pleasure and happiness whenever they look at you.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.