Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
I repent for my adultery all day, fear Allah’s punishment, and hope for his mercy. My husband keeps bringing it up and scares me by saying that Allah Most High has forbidden Paradise for those who commit adultery. I fear Allah’s punishment. Can I be forgiven? Or will my repentance and prayers get rejected? I read the Quran daily with the meaning and even make dhikr while lying down.
Should I leave my relationship altogether? My husband is not convinced that I can be forgiven and brings it up constantly. I am worried about my two little kids and how I would bring them up. I prayed Istikhara multiple times.
May Allah Most High reward you for your sincere repentance and your regret.
As I explained before, Paradise is not prohibited; every single sin can be forgiven, even murder. The only sin of not forgiving is shirk (making gods other than Allah). Instead, your husband should fear Allah’s punishment for holding a grudge.
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “the gates of Paradise will be opened on Mondays and Thursdays, and every servant [of Allah] who associates nothing with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who has a grudge against his brother. [About them] it will be said: Delay these two until they are reconciled; delay them until they are reconciled.” [Muslim]
I still recommend that you pray istikhara about this, as you were unhappy before the adultery and are still now. It can work out if you stay for the children’s sake, but it will take a mountain of effort, patience, and giving.
Please see these resources for improving marriage:
May Allah Most High give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.