Question:
As Salaamu Alaykum. I am facing a situation where my dad is telling me to divorce my wife because she is my cousin. Now some of my relatives are saying I must obey him based on the hadith where Ibn Umar radiyallahu anhu was married to a woman and his father Umar ibn Khattab told him to divorce her. When they came to the Prophet, he said obey your father and divorce her. Do I have to divorce my wife if my father orders me?
County: United States
Answer:
Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatuLlahi wa barakatuHu,
The hadith which you have cited is related by Imams Abu Dawud v. 4, p. 449, Tirmidhi v. 4, p. 65, Ahmad b. 10, p. 17, Ibn Hibban v. 2, p. 170 and others on the authority of Ibn ‘Umar who was married to a woman he loved, while his father disliked her. His father, ‘Umar commanded his son to divorce that woman. Ibn ‘Umar refused. Then, ‘Umar mentioned this to the Prophet (SallAllahu alayhie wa sallam) who said, “O Abd Allah! Divorce her.”
The scholars differed on whether this hadith implies that one must divorce his wife in such a case or if it is something recommended, meaning mustahabb. In Irshad al-Sari v. 8, p. 127, Qastalani related this hadith, and cited Ibn al-Rif’ah that a son’s divorcing his wife upon his father’s command is under the type of talaq which is mustahabb. In Fath al-Mu’in v. 4, p. 4-6, along with Shata’s commentary I’anat al-Talibin, Zayn al-Din al-Malibari mentioned the case of a divorce at one’s parents command and listed it similarly, as being mandub. This is with the added detail that it only be so when the order is based on a valid reason.
Thus, the ruling is that it is recommended to follow one’s parents’ orders in such a case, in the instance that they are requesting it for a sound reason.
And Allah knows best.
Shafiifiqh.com Fatwa Dept.