Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Thoughts have been coming to my mind recently, making me question if I have committed kufr (disbelief) or shirk (associating partners with Allah). I then read the Shahada, and then another thought comes I have fear again. Recently the idea came about reciting verse 14 in Sura Taha.
I may have recited this in isolation at times as it’s a very powerful aya, and I feel whispers are coming, but I’m responding that I was reciting from the Quran. How do I deal with these thoughts, and how can I deal with the fear?
The verse you refer to is the following: Allah, Most High, says, “Indeed, I am Allah. There is no deity except Me, so worship Me and establish prayer for My remembrance.” [Quran, 20:14]
Waswasa (baseless misgivings) is a tribulation you can defeat if you are sincere. I am sure that you are, and so fear not, your doubts will leave you in sha Allah. The best advice I can give you is to read this answer by Ustadh Faraz Khan and apply it.
Also, see these links:
A Reader on OCD and Waswasa (Baseless Misgivings)
Waswas [Baseless Misgivings] Regarding Apostasy and Purity
I Have So Many Doubts That I Am Afraid to Lose My Faith. What Can I Do?
If you had thought of disbelief, you don’t need to repeat the testification of Faith, as you have not left Islam because of this thought. When the idea comes, seek refuge in Allah Most High, drop the thought and busy yourself with good deeds, such as helping people, exercising, practicing a hobby, etc. Recite Quran, knowing that they are Allah’s words, not yours. Don’t leave any idle time for yourself when you are alone because that is when the Devil strikes. Learn to see the triggers of your thoughts and avoid them.
Thank Allah Most High for the many favors bestowed upon you, especially the blessing of making you a believer. Allah says, “If you are grateful, I will give you more. But if you are ungrateful, surely My punishment is severe.’” [Quran, 14:7]
May Allah reward you for reaching out and striving to purify your thoughts.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.