Question:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. The hadith that you mention is here in full:
Narrated `Urwa from `A’isha: “The wives of Allah’s Messenger, (Allah bless him and give him peace) were in two groups. One group consisted of `Aisha, Hafsa, Safiyya, and Sauda’; and the other group consisted of Um Salama and the other wives of Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace).
The Muslims knew that Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) loved `A’isha, so if any of them had a gift and wished to give to Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace), he would delay it, until Allah’s Messenger, (Allah bless him and give him peace), had come to `A’isha’s home and then he would send his gift to Allah’s Messenger, (Allah bless him and give him peace), in her home.
The group of Umm Salama discussed the matter together and decided that Umm Salama should request Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) to tell the people to send their gifts to him in whatever wife’s house he was. Umm Salama told Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) of what they had said, but he did not reply. Then they (those wives) asked Umm Salama about it. She said, ‘He did not say anything to me. ‘They asked her to talk to him again. She talked to him again when she met him on her day, but he gave no reply. When they asked her, she replied that he had given no reply. They said to her, ‘Talk to him till he gives you a reply. ‘When it was her turn, she talked to him again. He then said to her, ‘Do not hurt me regarding `A’isha, as the Divine Inspirations do not come to me on any of the beds except that of `A’isha. ‘On that Umm Salama said, ‘I repent to Allah for hurting you. ‘
Then the group of Umm Salama called Fatima, the daughter of Allah’s Messenger, (Allah bless him and give him peace), and sent her to Allah’s Messenger, (Allah bless him and give him peace), to say to him, ‘Your wives request to treat them and the daughter of Abu Bakr on equal terms. ‘Then Fatima conveyed the message to him. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘O my daughter! Don’t you love whom I love? ‘She replied in the affirmative and returned and told them of the situation.
They requested her to go to him again, but she refused. They then sent Zainab bint Jahsh who went to him and used harsh words saying, ‘Your wives request you to treat them and the daughter of Ibn Abu Quhafa on equal terms. ‘On that, she raised her voice and abused `A’isha to her face so much so that Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) looked at `A’isha to see whether she would retort. `A’isha started replying to Zainab until she silenced her. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), then looked at `A’isha and said, ‘She is really the daughter of Abu Bakr. ‘”[Bukhari]
Her virtue
To understand the full virtue of `A’isha, you must listen to this podcast:
https://seekersguidance.org/show/09-saintly-women-part-8-aisha-most-knowledgable-of-all-women-shaykh-abdurragmaan-khan/
And to understand the Prophet’s equal treatment, love, and respect for all of his wives, read this excellent answer:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/islamic-belief/did-the-prophet-use-the-quran-to-justify-his-behaviour-and-marriages/
Preference
What you imagine to be unfair of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) is not as you imagine it, for he didn’t treat any wife unequally. Rather, he inclined more in his heart toward one wife which is perfectly permissible and does not constitute unfair treatment. It is a natural, human inclination and is akin to you or me having more of an affinity to a certain friend, relative, or even type of food. What matters is that his actions, which were governed by the shari’ah, were just, and they were.
Other wives
Although it is true that his other wives spoke up about some things, they nevertheless considered themselves the most blessed women on Earth to have been the mothers of the believers. Any annoyance that they bore was paltry compared to the happiness, joy, and love that he gave them all. May Allah reward them all with eternal felicity.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.