Question:
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. I am so sorry that you have chosen this impossible path and that you feel hopeless in the face of your problems. You can come out of this, and you will, by the grace of God.
Erectile dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation are commonly caused by masturbation. If this is your cause, I recommend that you immediately cease this habit to heal from your ailment fully. It is not a permanent problem, and it can be healed if you put effort and care into it. See this article about the different treatments available and discuss them with your doctor. Also, check out this safe website for Muslims to deal with these issues. You don’t need to sit back and resign yourself to what you think is your fate.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322086#ways-to-reverse-ed
https://purifyyourgaze.com/
Zina
I guarantee you that if you are facing erectile dysfunction and you run to fornication whenever you feel a bit better, you will not improve but fall into a bottomless black hole. Change your lifestyle, and you will be pleasantly surprised with the blessings of choosing Allah and His Messenger over your lusts. Consider this Prophetic advice, “The Prophet, (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “Allah has sent down both the disease and the cure, and He has appointed a cure for every disease, so treat yourselves medically, but use nothing unlawful. “[Abu Dawud]
Please resort to the halal, seek medical attention, and then eventually intend to marry, and you will not regret it. Allah has not abandoned you. Allah Most High has told us, “It is the same ˹to Him˺ whether any of you speaks secretly or openly, whether one hides in the darkness of night or goes about in broad daylight. For each one, there are successive angels before and behind, protecting them by Allah’s command. Indeed, Allah would never change a people’s state ˹of favour˺ until they change their own state ˹of faith˺. And if it is Allah’s Will to torment a people, it can never be averted, nor can they find a protector other than Him. [Qur’an, 13, 10-11]
I cannot emphasize to you enough that you are wanted and needed, and loved by all of those around you. I pray that you take steps to avoid these thoughts and instead do what is better for you. Sincere repentance, a change of habits, and fighting your lusts and old habits will transform your being and bring everything back on track. You are not hopeless, there are people out there in far worse situations than you, and your measure in Allah’s eyes is not by what you have accomplished or your worldly matters or your marital status, but rather by your piety. Your very feelings of regret and remorse make you a worthy believer. Follow through with those feelings to the end. Take your life back. Start with the prayer, and ask Allah to pull you back to him, dragging you if necessary.
Resources
Speak to a therapist, friend, counselor, or elder for advice on moving forward. Befriend pious positive people, don’t do this alone. See the links below for excellent advice:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/depression-and-sadness/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/living-religion/i-feel-depressed-from-my-cycle-of-sin-and-repentance-what-should-i-do/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/ridding-oneself-of-depression-and-suicidal-thoughts/
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.