Question: A while back, I was furious at my dad because he said that a man hit his wife for a good reason and justified hitting the wife. The next day a lady we know died because of her husband’s mistreatment. Our family was dysfunctional because of my dad, but he has changed now, and I love the new him very much. I cursed him back on that day in my heart, but I don’t want to tell him. How can I seek forgiveness?
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincerity, and may He reward your father for truly changing his condition and mindset. This kind of repentance is truly priceless!
Cursing
Because you cursed your father in your mind, your curse will not affect, especially if it was a thought that you discarded right away. Please see this link about thoughts and their moral weights:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/islamic-belief/types-thoughts-blasphemy-sin/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/shafii-fiqh/profanity-entail-shirk/
Forgiveness
For your peace, the best course of action is to ask for forgiveness, although your thought may not have even been sinful. Allah, Most High, told us not to despair when He said, “Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Qur’an, 39:53]
I encourage you to make a habit of daily repentance to strengthen your relationship with your Lord and get in the habit of catching yourself before you let your thoughts go astray. Seek refuge from the Devil often. See the conditions of tawba here:
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/featured-articles/what-are-the-conditions-of-making-tawba-transcript-ustadh-abdullah-misra/
Dhikr
Dhikr is a Muslim’s best friend; remember Allah often, pray on time, give charity regularly, even if only a little, and always turn your thoughts to the positive. See this article in full for more detail:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/dhikr-remembrance-of-god/
May Allah give you and your family the best of this world and the next and bless you all with closeness and love.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.