My husband doesnt understand my feelings regards to living with his family

Answered according to Shafi'i Fiqh by

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher

I’ve been married for 11 months now and and me and my husband are expecting our first child in April. In general I am very happy with my husband and i love him very much, the only problem is living with his family. he has loads of brothers and sisters some are married but they are always around with their children and their husbands there isn’t much privacy. His mum is constantlymoaning about something or the other and it is really getting me down and I feel like any day now I’m going to have a mental breakdown. the problem is my husband knows how i feel about living with his family, but his refusing to to do anything about it. I can’t take this anymore. please help me with this problem and what can i do to make my husband see how im feeling. Im not asking him to disown his family or anything like that just that i need my own space.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.

Dear Sister,

I pray this message finds you well. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

A woman has the right to separate lodging from her in-laws. At the very least, your husband is obliged to provide you with a separate living space, bedroom, bath, and kitchen.

Please communicate your concerns to your husband emphasizing:

1. the importance of fulfilling one’s responsibilities towards one’s spouse

2. the importance of privacy in building a strong and lasting marriage

3. the importance of having your own space (and some peace and quiet) when the baby arrives

I pray that you can work out a solution that is to the benefit of all involved.

Please see this related article at

A Wife’s Right to Housing Separate From Her In-Laws and Others

And Allah knows best.

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