I got married when I was 18. My husband had to leave after a month. I was extremely depressed and missed him a lot. During this time I committed adultery with one of his family member. I never thought about it again because it was very shameful and embarrassing for me. Now after 10 years of marriage and 3 children I told my husband what I had done. He was upset but for the sake of children decided not to divorce me, but he said we can never live like husband and wife again. Now my question is: Is it haram for him to touch me because of what I have done? Is there anyway he can punish me and accept me back. I told him to beat me hundred times like in hadis for adultery. Will that clean away my sins? One of my child has severe disability and I feel its my punishment for what I have done. What should I do that Allah and my husband forgive me? Is there any way to repent for what i have done? Please answer my question as I am feeling very very guilty and I love my husband very much. He has been a very good husband in everyway and I want him to take me back.
Husband-and-wife should eat together sleep together and not separate. Pass should be forgotten; it should not be thought that the kid was born this way because of previous bad deeds as a punishment. It is the wisdom of Allah that he gives health to kids or takes it away from them there is no reason to be worried.
As a husband-and-wife they can live together there’s nothing wrong with it.