Assalaamu Alaikum.
Since before I got married, I’ve had taught children from home. I continued to do this after I got married.
The money that I was able to save up I have been able to use when financial situations were difficult at home or used for outings and trips for the children. Throughout my marriage my husband keeps saying that the money I earned is only because he allowed me to and it technically doesn’t fully belong to me. Is this correct? When we travel abroad to India we have always used the money I saved as spending money anywhere from $5000-$7000 a trip. I always feel scared to ask him for any part of it back because I know he feels he’s entitled to that money because I earned it while being married to him.
As of recent I had given my husband money that I saved up to purchase property for me and register it under my name. He just told me that he has registered the property under his name and anyways the money I saved up is because of him so it belongs to him anyways.
I’m always having a hard time speaking to my husband On this matter because he is very strong opinioned and doesn’t care to hear what I have to say. He continues to say that I had nothing before I got married and only after I got married I was able to save because of him. What rights do I have over the money I earn after marriage?
Further more when people gifted my children money I always have saved it. Alhamdulillah I was able to save over $7000. My husband recently had said he wanted to use that money and would put it back. He has used the money but has no intention of putting that money back. That money was being saved for the children’s future use. I know the wealth of the child belongs to the father. So I just want to know if he said he would put it back and doesn’t, is this wrong?
الجواب وبالله التوفيق
- The money you have saved by teaching, you are its owner and even your husband cannot use them without your permission.
- For the gifts given to the children for their use, to fulfill one of their needs or the ones which are given to the children on certain occasions (as a custom), it is impermissible for the parents to utilize such gifts in any manner.
- There are other types of gifts which are customarily given to the children but the real intent is to give it to the parents e.g. gifts given to the child at the time of ‘aqīqah. If the mother’s relatives have given the gift then the mother will be considered its owner otherwise if the father’s relatives have given the gift then the father will be considered its owner. Therefore, if the parents utilized the gifts which were the children’s property (as described in #2) then they will be answerable and accountable in front of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta‘ala.
واللہ اعلم بالصواب