Question:
Assalamu ‘alaykum.
My husband sent me an irrevocable divorce (talaq ba’in), and I was advised to sit through ‘the idda. During this time, my husband came to see me, and we were intimate. We continue to live separately, and he still meets me and talks to me on the phone. He claims that it is only one divorce, and the doors are open for him. What is the ruling on this?
Answer:
Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.
Types of Divorce
There are two types of divorce when it comes to the permissibility of intimacy: the revocable divorce (raj’i) and the irrevocable divorce (ba’in). The difference between the two is the wording with which it was issued and the number.
Saying just the word ‘divorce,’ or ‘I divorce you’ are examples of a revocable divorce. If two or more of these are given – at once or separately – it becomes an irrevocable divorce. Irrevocable divorces have a stronger wording.
Intimacy After Divorce
Intimacy after one or two revocable (raj’i) divorces is permitted, but any display of physical affection automatically revokes the divorce. They become a married couple again.
Intimacy is not permitted after an irrevocable divorce. If he has given only one or two in total, then they can only be intimate if he marries her again with a fresh nikah and mahr.
Based on how you phrased your question, it would appear that intimacy with him is impermissible. Please let him know. If he does not agree, tell him to consult a local scholar. If it was a revocable divorce, you are now married again. [Maydani, al Lubab]
I suggest you repent from the act of intimacy, and ask Allah for forgiveness. He forgives all sins. “Indeed, He is the All-Forgiving, Ever-Merciful.” (Qur’an, 39:53)
May Allah facilitate all matters for you.
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani