Answered by Shaykh Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf Mangera
A brother asked me to marry him in November 2001. However my mother did not approve of him for me. From November 2001 until September 2001 we were in contact with each other through emailing. He gave me his home number and his mobile number. I started to give him prank calls on his mobile phone. It lasted for 6 months. Then he found that it was me calling him. He said he could not believe that I annoyed him the way I did. That I put him through a lot of suffering, He confronted it to me, however I denied it, this was in September 2002. Ever since then we lost contact. In September 2002 we both decided to loss contact, he asked me to consider him as non-existing.
I would like you to advise me if I should get in contact with him and tell him it was me really giving those nuisance calls to him and ask him to forgive me or should I just leave it. And if I do own up to what I did, how would I go about doing. Should I email him or should I call him and tell him? How would I tell him? How would I ask for his forgiveness?
Assalamu alaykum
In the name of Allah, the Inspirer of truth.
In this case you should maybe just write a formal letter and send it to him without any further strings attached (i.e. without requesting a response). Do not do this with the intention of gaining his sympathy and restarting the relationship, if you do not see yourself marrying this brother. Write an apology and hope that he forgives you. The other option is to convey this apology message through a friend and end it there.
If communicating in this way will create further complication and spark a new life into your former relationship then abandon this move altogether. Instead, seek forgiveness for him (and yourself) from Allah, and if possible perform acts of charity on his behalf, and ask Allah to take care of the situation by sufficing him on the Day of Retribution.
Please remember that this is not a fatwa permitting for you to begin lengthy discussions with this brother again based on your former relationship.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalam
Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf