Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
I have been doing Istikhara for several days but I didn’t had any dream or anything like that. Last night I didn’t do Istikhara but still I had a dream. Anyway in my dream I saw that there were 3 Imams or Hafiz and one of them asked me to say Kobul. Then I said Kobul. And the guy was sitting next to me. Does this mean that I am going to get married with him? Another thing is the guy lives in a different country. But I will be going there soon to visit him with my family plus to finish my studies there. Anyway if the guy haven’t done Istikhara and I had the dream, will it still work out? I mean isn’t it something like, that both of us have to dream about each other in order to get married. Maybe I had the dream just coz I was thinking about the marriage or something like that. Please advise me what to do in this situation. Also there is a point to be noted that until both of us see each other personally we won’t get married. Also please let me know how to do Istikhara.
The istikhara is a primarily an individual sunna in which one seeks guidance and good from Allah in a particular matter. This guidance and good unfold on the plane of worldly causes and effects, not merely dreams and feelings.
The sunna regarding actions is two-fold:
a) one takes the best and most effective of means; and
b) one places one’s trust and reliance on Allah.
The istikhara is primarily related to the latter. It in no way negates one’s duty to take the proper steps in choosing a marriage partner of finding out the relevant details related to their worldly and religious life, their character, conduct, and personality, as repeatedly emphasized by scholars such as Shaykh Isam Eido.
See attached answer(s) about the fiqh of the guidance prayer (istikhara), and what one should consider in a spouse.