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Answered by Shaykh Ilyas Patel
I have a huge problem concerning brotherhood in Islam. I started practicing in my teen years and day by day Mash’Allah my deen goes up. I just found out that a brother I know for long time is talking behind my back and he and some other people judge for the way I dress, walk, and talk. They are always trying to bring me down. In fact it seems they hate me deep inside just because the way I am. I feel depressed and it hurts me, brothers judging other brothers outwardly. What should I do? And what does Islam say about backbiting.
In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate
These brothers who are judging you outwardly is because of their lack of iman and understanding, though they know it is wrong to backbite. They haven’t come to realise its severity. It is good of you being concerned and wanting them to like you as you are, but this is not the case all the time. You can be judged wrongly even if you are like them. Try to dress in western clothing also and be as normal as you are, in order to show your friends that you are no different when you wear what they are wearing. Also a good way to make them closer is to give gifts. On the other hand, if they are completely off the track and affecting your din then you should try to avoid them and pray to Allah to guide them and keep you steadfast, but keep ties with them by meeting them occasionally or by giving gifts.
Ghiba (Backbiting and slander) is a major sin and is a very common ailment in our society. It means to mention anything concerning a person that he would dislike, whether about his body, religion, everyday life, self, disposition, property, son, father, wife, servant, turban, garment, gait
Allah clearly mentions in the Qur’an:
Woe to whoever disparages others behind their back or to their face’
(Koran 104:1)
There are other verses and ahadith against backbiting.
May Allah save us all from this evil, amin.
And Allah Knows Best
– Ilyas