Maintaining family ties with a relative who is abusive

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: My father had 4 brothers and 1 sister. After my grandfather’s death my father’s eldest brother usurped the leather factory which was in the name of all brothers and changed the name of the factory in his daughter’s name depriving all the three brothers and their children off their rights.

After this he and his wife did all the wrong which they could possibly do with us from fighting to abusing to physically hurting and even spreading bad things about us to all other relatives. Yet after all this when the same eldest brother fell ill all other brothers took care of him and helped him. His wife for that period of time became good and changed. But as soon as her husband passed away she became the same old evil lady. Yet others kept patient with her and kept ties with her.

She is good to us only when she feels the need for the family support and once her work is done she changes to be the same mean and evil lady. So my question is how to deal with such a relative who from the very beginning has only given loss and hurt and bad memories to us but becomes good when she needs us? She is good to us as long as she knows she will be benefitted from us but when there is any discussion about the family property or division she becomes the most evil person changing her attitude completely.


A: Maintain family ties, but keep a little distance so that you are saved from her wrongs.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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