Basis of choosing a spouse

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I’m a doctor by profession n inshallah a child specialist very soon..29 yr old.. My father want me to maary with his nephew who is labortary technetion n works in lab… I personally don’t want to marry him because I want that sm1 should be of my rank at least other wise my friends n other will make fun of me. Now situation is that my father insisting on his point of view from last 10 yr.. He rejects proposals from parents continuously force that cousins proposal is good proposal.. Out of family u will suffer a lot.. They will b unkwn.. They can beat u n send u home.. I m stuck in bad condition I.e between not to maary cousin n unknown fear of unkwn families… I want to ask what should I parents re old n in depression too.. They even curse me that I m reason behind their distress n suffering.. N if I will not follow their wish I will never be happy.. Now plx guide me


A: The hadeeth directs us to make piety and religion the reason for preference, not the degree and profession. Obviously, no person’s understanding is greater than the understanding of Nabi (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam). Both you and your father should make this the reason of preference. Leave what people have to say, because people never spared anybody, neither a good person nor any bad person. Go with what Allah and Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) say and insha Allah you will be blessed.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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