Thinking about a married man

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I have this problem that has been bothering me for over 4 months now. I don’t know what to do.

People tell me to pray and you will forget about it. But it is very difficult and I feel like no one understands me.

I used to work last year September till November so I worked only for 2 months. Within that 2 months my manager (who is 30 and I’m 19) has always supported me, and was there for me. We both grew a trusting relationship where we told eachother everything. Even when it came to talking about our illnesses and family problems with eachother. Bear in mind that he is a divorcee and married again. He has been there to support me and when no one understood me, his the only one that did.

Since I left my job, I feel like I’m going mental because I can’t stop thinking about him. He told me about his illness so I gave him a Quran speaker, so hearing recitation keeps him calm. I cannot go through a single prayer without making dua for him. I can’t sleep at night but worry if his okay, 24/7 (I mean 24/7) I think about him and question myself “is he ok” and pray to Allah to keep him safe and happy.

I know that I have no affection towards him. And I know myself that I am not allowing Shaytaan to play with my head. It’s a Muslim sister worrying about her brother. I finished a Quran khatam for him, and I call up my store using a private number so when I hear his voice I know his safe and ok.

It’s been 4 months and I still can’t forget about him. I really don’t know what to do it’s very difficult and I really need help!


A: This affection you have within your heart  for him is impermissible and these feelings are from Shaitaan. You should sincerely repent to Allah Ta’ala for getting involved in this haraam relationship and make a firm resolve that you will never repeat this in the future.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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