Q: I am just worried and getting anxiety worrying and thinking if:
1. If my nikah is valid with my husband. Alhumdulillah we are so happy but the thought comes that, did your husband ever said divorce? I never heard him say it.
2. If hurmate musaahara took place anytime? If my dad’s nikah is valid? I’m just worring and thinking that suppose hurmate musaahara took place. Supposed my dad’s nikah is not valid. Suppose my nikah is not valid. I’m so happy masha allah with my husband but these thoughts come.
3. I am not sure if sure hurmate musaahara took place. I am getting these thoughts that supposed it was lust when I shook my sisters hand or my husband’s. Those thoughts don’t come only when my father touched or shakes my hand or touch me.
4. Now in my mind I think that hurmate musaahara happened when some feeling comes in your vagina or that liquid comes out when you are ready for sex. So when my dad shakes my hand I think that if something is happening in my vagina, even before my father shakes my hand, I am scared.
5. Now I’m also worried and I’m getting thoughts about my Imaan. I listen to bayaans and I keep reading the kalimah. I say I am a Muslim. I am not feeling in my heart who I was before. Is it kufr to say so? Is my nikah valid? Thoughts of hadith, Islam, Quraan and Allah comes in my mind. I know Islam is a true religion but I’m not feeling the sukoon that I get thoughts on religion. When I listen to a bayan and listen to stories of sahaba and about our prophet and what he went through for us, I feel it in my heart and I don’t have the feeling in my heart. I keep reading the Kalimah and i get thoughta that am I a Muslim? I say to myself yes I am a muslim. Please help me and make dua for me. Allah keep me steadfast on deen n make me die with Imaan.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)
This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.