Q: I am currently living in a joint family with my grandmother and uncles and now we are going to buy a new house separately since childhood I’ve seen my paternal showing hate towards me and my sibling also at my father and mother. My mother loves his mother but still she has a nature that she leaves no chance of degrading us. My mother scolds me for using bad words or having bad feelings for her but I cannot help it. She pretends to be sweet but she isn’t with us. Recently she talked to me very differently. Mufti please tell me something through which I have sabar and we can sort out things. I will wait for you reply because it makes me frustrated.
A: Despite them treating you in this manner, you should continue to treat them kindly and politely. Islam emphasizes kindness towards one’s family even though they are impolite in their conduct. Perhaps your good conduct towards them will soften their hearts and be a means of them changing. Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) once said to the Sahaabah: “Should I not show you the best and most sublime conduct in this world and the Hereafter. The Sahaabah replied, most certainly O Rasul of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), do inform us. Nabi (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) then said join ties with those who sever family ties with you, and continue to bestow your favours upon those who deprive you and forgive those who have oppressed you.”
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
عن أبي هريرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ألا أدلكم على مكارم الأخلاق في الدنيا والآخرة قالوا بلى يا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال صلمن قطعك واعط من حرمك واعف عمن ظلمك (شعب الايمان البيهقي #7725)
Answered by:
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)