Answered by Shaykh Yūsuf Badāt
Question:
I know a husband who has been married for about seven years. For the last several years of their relationship, there have been issues. The couple have been for counseling, both individually as well as together, to both secular and spiritual counselors. The husband has already made up his mind to end the relationship. However, the wife is demanding more work to save the marriage. The husband has agreed but laid down the following 5 conditions. He says he is willing to stay in the marriage if the 5 conditions are met otherwise he is divorcing. Are these conditions acceptable? They are listed here:
- Be punctual with 5 prayers (salāh)
- Have children (she doesn’t want kids)
- Wear ḥijāb
- Cook for him
- Stop all black-magic (siḥr/ jādū) related activities (she and her family are very involved in this)
Answer:
In the Name of God, Most Merciful, Most Kind
Thank you/ Jazāk Allāh Khayr for contacting us with your question.
Ending a marriage is never pleasant. Every effort should be made to save the marriage. If the couple have exhausted all avenues through meaningful strategies, family therapy and couples counseling with no success, divorce is the only final viable option.
Conditions and agreements to sustain a marriage must be mutual. Each couple is unique. Needs vary case by case. If the listed conditions are the only way the husband is willing to stay in the marriage, that is totally up to him. The wife can also present her requests and conditions. In an ideal situation, it should be a give and take scenario.
In the above described dilemma, if things are just not working out, the husband does have the right to divorce. The Qur’ān suggests to either live peacefully and or leave peacefully.
“Either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] peacefully.” (Qur’ān 2:229).
We pray for what is best for the couple. May the Almighty grant success to one and all.
And Allāh Knows Best